Saturday, January 09, 2010

Entry #74

Wailing Wall
by Emmanuel Iduma


You think that he entered the wall and disappeared forever. For that's what he said to you, we will all disappear forever, we will all fly free; I am free, you can be free. And that's what he did; flew free, poured his venom on you.

First, you were on the wall and his body pressed yours, rubbing, throbbing, jamming. I can jam you in here, I can jam you in here; I have control over your body, nothing is private; stop shouting. He said. You shouted no more. He had you. Owned you.

This wall he died from your dagger. Yes, the wall spoke to you, you saw it in dreams, in anytime you closed your eyes. His image splashed with red, his words oozing red from his mouth. The wall calling to you, you can jam him in here, this is your act of godliness, jam him in here. And that's what you did. Jammed him there.

This is what you did, cut him through the chest until the dagger touched the wall. And while his body drops, while he sinks into the wall, you no longer see the wall oozing red, or talking to you, or saying jam him in here. You’re only here yourself now wailing, when the wall has buried him.

So, this is your wailing wall. While you wail, you know you are free. Free to live. To live. To live. Ah. To live.


(Emmanuel Iduma, born in 1989, has been published online and in print. He is the author of the memoirs, Alphabets of a Small City and Have You Been Honest with Me? forthcoming later in 2010 as e-Books. He is the co-publisher of Saraba. While studying for his LL.B. and B.L., he is also working on a novel.)

17 comments:

Aniket said...

This is my second favourite wall.
Right next to my facebook one. :D

Unique and impressive take on the prompt.

pjd said...

I think I'm missing the metaphors here, or I'm kinda getting them but not quite. I definitely get the mood and tone and plot, though.

Often, repetition is misused or overused or ineffective. Although you have a lot of it in this piece, your repetition is none of those. It is used effectively and well.

Ayodele Morocco-Clarke said...

We all know what happens when one is pushed (or jammed) to the wall. Nice one Emmanuel.

Craig said...

There is a very definte rythnm to this piece, almost musical.

Sarah Laurenson said...

I can feel the madness that drove her to this. Well done.

JaneyV said...

The rhythm of this is like the drumbeat of madness. I love the way you showed that his acts of violence were the poison that made her become violent too.

And that's what he did; flew free, poured his venom on you.

I can't say that I enjoyed this but I appreciate how well you wrote it.

Kartik said...

Violence begets violence!

Lena said...

It actually is almost poetic, or at least has some music in it. Love the rhythm.
Nicely done.

laughingwolf said...

i'm like pete, i think i get most of it...

Laurel said...

The rhythm of this beats like war drums. You hit a nice percussion with the repetition. Great effect in your writing, and a powerful story of rape and justice.

Four Dinners said...

I have no idea where this came from - given the pic that was supposed to inspire.

That being said. This is very powerful and extremely good writing in my small opinion.

Thank you and well done!

Deb Smythe said...

Another creepy one, for sure! Nice job.

kashers said...

Difficult images, yet they're fixed so tightly in the mind. Well, this reader's mind anyway.

Maybe I'm a bit of a sicko, but I absolutely loved it.

Terri said...

I found I was quite riveted by the way this was written. Chilling, a little horrifying, but excellent. Nobody said justice is pretty.

james r tomlinson said...

Damn, damn, damn, the voice of this is really good. I see the conflict and all its implications. You're not making it easy to make my picks; you're on my short list.

james r tomlinson said...

But wait! Where does the photograph fit into this? I'll have to read it again.

Aerin said...

Dear Entrants #1-105,

I have read your pieces so that I can fairly participate in the Readers' Choice vote. (I read all of them through last week, before I started commenting.) I will be coming back around to offer my keep/tweak comment, but I didn't want anyone to snark.

Cheers,
Aerin (#236)

BTW, it's perfectly fine if you still want to snark, but this way you can choose a more appropriate subject, like Sarah Palin's hair or the enigmatic career of Justin Timberlake.