Thursday, July 22, 2010

Forties Club Finalist #25

by Prashant Dhanke

Before she died, she had one last look at the sky. She has been sleeping since then, only to keep waking in another dream.

Now she found herself on an island with no trees and three crystals. The crystals were the shiniest she had ever seen.

“Do you like them?” said a voice which came from nowhere.

The sparkles told her that she wasn’t in a dream. Nothing so pure can be untrue.

“They were sons of the same mother.” the voice continued.

“Sorry??” she mumbled, uncertainly.

“I’ll explain. What was Newton’s greatest accomplishment?”

“Calculus? Laws of motion?”

The voice smirked.

“No, child. Newton became ‘The Theory of Relativity’.”

“So, the dead turn into theories or crystals?”

“Yes, they do, into ideas, into events, into all things that are beyond the realms of meek, the living beings. Mona Lisa, the Ninth Symphony, Zero; each one of them came into existence after centuries of suffering of the dead. ”

“What about the beginning, when there was no one to die?”

“No creation is free of the guilt of destruction.”

“Then who died for Big Bang? Was it God?”

“A force more potent.”

“What was it?”


Even the waves paused for a moment.

“Nothing else explodes with such magnificence.”

And then the voice disappeared. And the crystals melted into tears and were stolen by the momentary breeze before the sand could swallow them, leaving her alone on the island of melancholy, till the day she turns herself into lyrics, yet unsung.


Sarah Laurenson said...

Had a bit of trouble following some of this, but it left me feeling wistful and like the world is beautiful with all those souls as ideas and works of art.

Nicely done.

Catherine Vibert said...

I loved the last 3rd the best. It was poetry.

pegjet said...

Lyrical and as Sarah said, wistful.

Jade L Blackwater said...

Unique - I like the provacative conversation/poetry. Gets me thinking about compassion and Kwan Yin. Thoughtful work.

Aimee Laine said...

Very poetic. :)

Oddyoddyo13 said...

Each one of these is so different from the next-this one was especially unique!

Peter Dudley said...

Poor thing, to be doomed to such loneliness.
Lucky duck, to be destined to become something even more beautiful.
Interesting premise. I don't really understand the role the jewels play, but the language is... hmm, wistful is probably the best word. Like Sarah said.

Aniket said...

I loved the concept as a whole. When I read the first line I thought maybe this was inspired from Inception. ;)

Like Peter I too believe that I didn't exactly get what you were trying to convey with the three crystals. But its still a beautiful piece.

'Nothing else explodes with such magnificence' is a brilliant line.

Michael Morse said...

The reader smiled when "the voice smirked."

Great line.

jelismorgan said...

What a wonderful, philosophical slant on the theme. I enjoyed it.

BrownPhantom said...

Thank you all.
Crystals had a mind of their own :).

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

Hi Prashant!

I was kind of thinking... chicken/egg (but then I remember the scientist said it had to be the chicken came first). Nicely done, made me think.

Dottie :)

bekbek said...

I love anything that sees that science is art and passion and very, very human. Lovely, thank you.

JaneyV said...

I love the concept of reincarnating into creative works. Lovely poetic piece Prashant!

Laurel said...

This flows in something like a fugue state. I love the philosophical edge to it, people and their emotion being reincarnated into theories and creation.

BrownPhantom said...

Thank you Janey, Laurel, Bekbek and Dottie.
Great to read such kind words.

Vincent Kale said...

Loneliness dies to give rise to existence. She dies and becomes a muse, giving of herself so that others might express their grief.

Great concept!

February Grace said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
February Grace said...

This brought tears to my eyes.

Just lovely. Sad, and yes the others are right wistful is a great word for it.

Haunting. Beautiful.


Mike Robertson said...

What an amazing concept: the most potent creative force in the universe is loneliness! Beautifully expressed too. Excellent work.

JR's Thumbprints said...

I'm reminded of Richard Bach. This has that kind of feel to it. Can we throw in some Neil Diamond music as well? Nice writing style.

Michelle Davidson Argyle said...

This is really nice! I love the poetic feel of it and the dialogue. It flows nicely, and I love the last line.