Honor Amongst Thieves
by John Donald Carlucci
The sharp pain in my stomach was getting worse. I tried not to grimace, but a knife fight in your guts can make your choices for you.
“Sir, you’re sweating a lot.” The stewardess said as she handed me a wet cloth.
“You have that affect on me, doll.” She dismissed me with a tired smile. I needed the bathroom, but my luck put me on a flight that served a bad dose fish to its passengers and the stall has been occupied with one retching person after another. Food services are terribly unreliable on African flights and I’ve learned to never partake.
“Arrrh,” I choked as the other passengers looked on with sympathy. I guess they assumed I had the worst case... I wish.
My partner Benny and I had a bad fight before I boarded. It was the kind of fight that breaks up partnerships real quick.
I absently tongued the bit of dental floss stuck between my back molars as I waited for that damn bathroom door to open.
“Damn it!” Blood stained my hand as I coughed from the pain and I couldn’t wait any longer. I gagged as I reached into my mouth, grabbed the floss, and yanked the bag in my stomach up my throat.
Inspecting the blood soaked bag, I realized what Benny had done. He’d filled it with crushed glass instead of the diamonds I was to mule back to America.
I guess Benny did believe I was stealing after all.
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28 comments:
Revenge is a dish best served...cold. That Benny knew what he was doing. Too bad the narrator didn't just kill him and have done with it. Excellent story.
Gruesome. He should have had the fish instead.
Ugh. That's never fun.
Gritty--no pun intended. I wonder how the passengers around reacted! Nicely done.
YOWZA! didn't see that coming... really painful, well told.
@Precie - gritty.... HA!!!
Perhaps because I work in a prison where dental floss is used for suturing, I knew that your dental floss would serve a purpose as well. I enjoyed this story.
Ohhh Benny! I actually didn't see this coming. What an ending. Benny might be in for a little revengeful surprise of his own if this guy makes it.
Nice job.
Absolutely brilliant luv. You are lucky to have a mate that encourages your darker side methinks... because that's where you shine.
;-)
Ow. A good and short tale, John.
I guess even diamonds would have done the same job. After all they cut glass too...
Interesting character. I liked the guy. I hope he miraculously survives and goes back to take down the whole organization.
Katherine
Maybe I'll expand it and we'll find out.
Peter
There are bones in fish. Ish.
Oddyoddyo13
Tell me about. Last time I muled...well, that is another story.
Precie
I would hope with compassion, but I've been on flights - oy.
Jade
Thank you!
JR
I am so happy that the floss rang true for you. It isn't just for message lines anymore.
September
He makes it. I think I need to write the rest now.
Jin
I am so lucky to have such an encouraging and twisted relationship.
Cormac
Always glad when I please you.
Mona
I would image, but why waste them with a soda pop bottle will do.
Aniket
I kind of like him also. Thanks to you guys, I'll bring him back.
JDC
Brilliant and expertly executed!
Yikes! So very well written!
A mini-thriller; well done in 250 words.
Nicely executed. That snippet that can stand alone, yet leaves me wanting more.
I'll never listen to "Bennie and the Jets" in quite the same way again. Gruesome, but well played.
Niiiiice. One of my favorites.
Hi John
Nice twist there at the end. And scary.... Two bad guy and no one wins.
Dottie :)
Talk about a gut check. Yikes.
Uh, I need a Ricola just thinking about this piece.
Strong imagery. Very nice.
You had me at a knife fight in your guts.
My favorite thing about this is that the ending isn't so much a twist...you know something bad is happening, just not what. But the tension swells really well.
Fabulous tension running through this piece. i like the way it unfolded in tiny details (like the floss/ the fact it was an African flight etc). And I love the the final punch at the end.
the whole story rang true, all the way. which makes me wonder...
:))))
I love the line a knife fight in your guts. A great hook and the ending is great!
It's all been said above. Great post!
A definte contender.
Oh, what a surprise at the end!
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