Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Forties Club Finalist #51

by C. Sonberg Larson

Four sisters raced to the shoreline.

“SkyGod will choose me as his wife.” Rhianna’s long, red hair flowed behind her.

Enid scoffed. “SkyGod will prefer hair the color of the clouds. I will adorn the throne.”

Leyla smiled. “Fools. SkyGod will desire a raven-haired maiden with striking green eyes.”

Sophia was silent. Her beauty could never equal that of her sisters.

They reached the sand.

Enid called out. “SkyGod, we’ve arrived!”

A bolt of lightning cracked the sky.

“Dance!” A voice commanded.

The sisters danced, but Sophia noticed that the lightning struck a bird and it fell into the sea.

Sophia pointed. “The bird is drowning!”

“We saw,” Enid said.

“Nothing you can do,” Leyla yelled.

“Dance!” Rhianna shouted.

The sisters twirled, their hair and skirts flowed.

Sophia dashed forward and dove into the waves. She swept the animal into her arms and carried it back to shore. “I won’t let you die, little one.” She knelt and placed the bird on the wet fabric of her dress.

The bird swelled and stretched. Within moments, it transformed into a beautiful man.

The sisters froze, faces agape. SkyGod raised his hand and struck them with shafts of brilliant light.

Sophia ran toward them, but they were gone. Nestled in the white sand were three gleaming jewels: one red, one white and one green.

SkyGod stepped forth. “They will adorn the throne, as the ornamental beauties they are.” He took Sophia’s hand. “I have found my wife.”


Peter Dudley said...

Pretty straightforward allegorical myth, competently written. It would have been somewhat less predictable, I think, if you had given Sky God a name.

Aerin said...

The feminist in me wants to whine "why does he get to choose?" but the romantic in me loves the bird nestled against her dress. *sigh*

Oddyoddyo13 said...

Smart! I loved how this seemed like a Greek myth or something..very enjoyable to read!

Precie said...

Aerin---while we're at it, her sisters' deaths might put a little downer on the wedding.

It's has all the elements of a classic fairy tale.

Aimee Laine said...

My mom always said it was best not to be selfish. :)

Jade L Blackwater said...

Nice fairy tale - I especially like how the jewels are to be used.

Erratic Thoughts said...

Ohh! I have never read such a short fairy tale.I really really liked it!
Those 3 sisters turning into jewels can have so many meanings!
I personally love happy endings n this was a hit:)

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

Hi C.

See, good girls always win. Lesson learned: don't think you know more than the SkyGod...


Dottie :)

fairyhedgehog said...

I love it when goodness is rewarded. It seems a bit hard on the other sisters, though.

SzélsőFa said...

there is justice in old myths as well :)
the three sisters may be perfect ornaments, but the fourth is the one with a heart. :)

Joni said...

This pleases me.

I like the mythical feeling. A really great tale.

Laurel said...

This does feel like a classic fairy tale. I like the tie in to the prompt and anti-feminist or not, I like that the Skygod tested for character over beauty. Even if he was a bit harsh.

Aniket said...

This should be included in the school books! A lovely tale to tell the kids.

JaneyV said...

A very satisfying fable of the value of kindness over vanity.

But I have to say I wouldn't marry him unless I could have my sisters back. Arrogant @)^%!!

Deb Smythe said...

This read like a classic fable.

Now, call the caterers and adjust the headcount;)

Vincent Kale said...

Echoing the statements above, it had a very satisfying, very classical ring to it. Though SkyGod's a bit of a creeper.
“Dance!” A voice commanded. (sorry, made me laugh!)

Looks like Sophia's gonna need to find some other bride's maids.

Verification: proode
Too funny

Michelle Davidson Argyle said...

This felt a bit predictable, but I really like it anyway. It's beautifully done!