Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Forties Club Finalist #56

Today
by Sameera Ansari


It had been a long day. Mike glanced at his watch; she was due any moment. He smiled to himself, it would be worth the wait. The dahlias in his hand were in full bloom. By the time the train pulled in, his heart had transformed into a fluttering bird.

It seemed just like yesterday…They had met in the very same place exactly an year ago. It was a pity she lived in another city, not that it made any difference to him. He planned to bridge the gap permanently today. The ring felt like a talisman in his breast pocket.

She was not the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, nor the cleverest for that matter. Maybe it was her mysterious aura that intrigued him. Whatever the reason, he was madly in love with her and wanted to spend every living moment with her here on…

He was woken from his reverie by a fat lady pushing a fruit trolley. Rubbing the small of his now aching back, Mike made his way through the crowd. His phone buzzed just then. Frowning, he saw it was his dentist’s assistant.

Good evening Mr. Mike, said the old lady, I just wanted to remind you of the appointment at 7 pm today. Without replying, he hung up and checked the calendar. Today was Tuesday. Kate was supposed to arrive on Wednesday.

Looking up, he saw her kissing a tall man in a business suit. He was carrying a bouquet of dahlias.

19 comments:

Peter Dudley said...

How many bucks does this doe have?

And 7 p.m.? That dental hygienist works late.

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

Hi Sameera

Ah, the fragility of love... too bad her love wasn't only for him. I need a dentist who works evenings too, where do I sign up?

Dottie :)

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

@Peter & Dottie : Maybe you should come down to India, dental clinics are open till 10 here :)

fairyhedgehog said...

I didn't see that coming! I thought it was going to be a straight romance. What a shocker for the narrator.

Aimee Laine said...

Poor guy! :(

Michael Morse said...

My wife has the ability to make me forget what day it is; twenty five years later. And she loves dahlias.

Now, I have a love/hate relationship with your story!

Nice job.(honestly)

SzélsőFa said...

i think it's either that mike was just looking into someone else's thoughts or mike's a time traveller.

:)))

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

@Fairyhedgehog : Glad my story surprised you!

@Aimee : Indeed!

@Michael : That's such a wonderful coincidence!Thanks for the honesty :)

@SzelsoFa : He he, it's neither actually :)

Oddyoddyo13 said...

Oh, that's NEVER good.

Loved it though-now I bet he knows why she's so mysterious!

JR's Thumbprints said...

That last paragraph sums up his relationship: over. He might as well chase the fruit trolley lady.

Joni said...

Oh, poor Mike.

Great imagery. A tightly written piece.

Kimberly B. said...

First reaction: aww, the poor guy.
Second reaction: well, maybe that's what he gets for selling her short (not the cleverest or most beautiful my foot!).
You really caught my attention with this one. Nice job!

Laurel said...

I feel bad for him, but his uncovered treasure might be in the discovery of her perfidious nature! And apparently she is a bit more clever than he gave her credit for.

JaneyV said...

I was going to say just that Laurel - he completely underestimated her. It seemed that he loved her in spite of her lack of intelligence and beauty. Seems to me she was way out of his league.

He had a lucky escape!

Deb Smythe said...

This made me think of the movie, Sliding Doors, where the catching or missing of a certain train changes a woman's life.

Timothy P. Remp said...

Very sad ...

Mike Robertson said...

No fan of pessimism for its own sake, I thank you too for a well written drama with a successful ending. Nice work.

"passed" => probably meant "past", eh?

Vincent Kale said...

You snooze you lose Mike! I do feel bad for him though. What a way to find out!

JR's comment about the fruit trolley lady cracked me up. Maybe that's not such a bad idea for Mike!

Michelle Davidson Argyle said...

Oh, this is so sad at the end! I love the last line. That really brings everything home for this piece.