Monday, August 16, 2010

They Said the Sun Sparkled All Around Him



"This was where he was last seen?"

"Yes."

"Those are restricted waters. Was it a patrol boat?"

"No. Sailboat. Making way to Still Pond."

"That's pretty weird, don't you think? Why would anyone take note of some guy out here? Enough to call it in once they saw the news report?"

"I don't know. It was evening, and the water was pretty empty. They said the sun was setting over him. It's pretty unusual to see a canoe this far out."

"Not a kayak?"

"That's not what they said."

They stared at the empty glass of the lighthouse tower. The light was never lit. It watched silently over waters that didn't matter to anyone anymore.

"So where should we start the search?"

"It's been over 36 hours. Just do a sweep of the island. Look for any traces that he landed. Other than that, the guy needs to turn up on his own. One way or another."

14 comments:

Damyanti said...

Telling an entire story through dialogue...you make this look so easy.

I love the last line.

Way to go, and thanks for sharing this!

Erratic Thoughts said...

Ouch!That last line was really nice :)
I love the way you write dialogues...I enjoyed this!

the walking man said...

I never knew there was a sail for a canoe but regardless, depending on why the waters were restricted he may never show up. Shark bait, crab food.

Those Coasties are so pragmatic.

Mona said...

that sounds like a pretty dismal situation :(

SzélsőFa said...

he was marching to eternity with a golden halo around him - i'm referring to the title, being proud i found the connection within the text.
but the last line...makes a different sense to the expression 'turn up'. ouch.
i liked reading it!

Raj said...

interesting but is that really it?

Oddyoddyo13 said...

What a creepy thing to say-and very hopeless for someone planning a search and rescue! LoL! I don't think I'd want to know that's what they'd say if that were me...Very compelling. :)

Tabitha Bird said...

Love that last line. I hope it turns up alive! Poor guy!

jason evans said...

Damyanti, thanks, my new friend. :) I do enjoy moving the story through dialogue.

Erratic Thoughts, a curious piece for a curious place. We were by Pooles Island on our boat on this unsettled afternoon.

Walking Man, I'm not aware of any sailing canoes either. The people on the sailboat looked over and saw the guy in the canoe the day before. This spot is by Aberdeen Proving Grounds, an army base. We boat in the Chesapeake Bay pretty often.

Mona, indeed. Unless he meant to disappear, as the piece says, one way or another.

Szelsofa, I do leave that interpretation open. Part of me does believe that this exit is what he wanted.

Raj, yep, that's it. When I do these vignettes, I'm trying to bring a mood to life with a little slice of action.

Oddyoddyo13, you're right. Doesn't sound like a very hopeful rescue!

Tabitha, I do wonder where he is.

Raj said...

i see. you did get it to life. real well.

DBA Lehane said...

The hopelessness of the hopeless...nicely done

Akasha Savage. said...

I love the way you say so much using so few words.

jason evans said...

Raj, thanks for the feedback!

DBALehane, that's a really great description of it!

Akasha, always wonderful to hear. Thanks! It seems so counterintuitive, but I do think intensity can be built with less.

Aniket said...

One of my all time fav. sayings of old times has been 'Wait Long By the River and the Bodies of Your Enemies Will Float By'.

And somehow the last line of the piece reminded me of that.