Monday, September 13, 2010

Altitude Day

sometimes your breathing
chips an ice crystal sky
when footsteps jab glaciers
and fish forms swim by
drink a cup flowing
splash your troubles blind
your garments are dissolving
into the blue underside

(Photo: The sky over Chesapeake Bay on Sept. 11, 2010. Note the lone vapor trail from a jet cutting across the sky. It occurred to me later that it is a fitting reminder of lives lost nine years ago.)


Karen said...

This is full of lovely sensory images and has an appealing rhythm. The photo is gorgeous!

the walking man said...

The first two lines took me. The last two reminded me I am always nude. The middle four made motion happen between the first and last.

Seré said...

I'm wondering about your process. Did this breathtaking photo inspire the gorgeous poem? Or was it the other way around?

Chris Eldin said...

Fitting tribute.

Bebo said...

lovely imagery that captures the heart

Oddyoddyo13 said...

Chilly...literally. Loved this. :)

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

Very true about the photo being a fitting reminder. I like how the lines themselves keep the rhythm. The words are are so delicate and strong at the same time. Great appeal!

jason evans said...

Karen, thanks. :) It was influenced by Regina Spektor.

Walking Man, I like that deconstruction!

Sere, most of the time, I start with photography wherever I can capture it. I'll chose a photo, then let it speak to me. If I don't have a scene or spark in a couple of seconds, then it's not ready. On the other hand, there are times when I start with the piece of writing, then turn to my archives of photos to see if something will fit. This particular one definitely started with the photo of that striking Maryland sky.

Chris, much appreciated. =)

Bebo, a wanted a touch of strange whimsy.

Oddyoddyo13, kind of avante garde, yes.

Kaye, I like when poems are not easily accessible. Many people don't, though. Sometimes it feels good to work for it. :)

Erratic Thoughts said...

The pic is marvelous and the words are a lovely caress to one's imagination :)


....Petty Witter said...

Breathtaking and the picture is perfect.

Lee said...

Ditto Petty. Reminds us of the gift of just breathing. As a fellow poet it touched my soul~.

jason evans said...

Erratic Thoughts, caressing the imagination...I really like that!

Petty, I need to embrace photography more again. I kind let a slump set in. It's nice to get some fresh images to work with.

Lee, yes, you're feeling what I was conveying. A giddy, quirky high. For no particular reason. Thanks!