Monday, December 27, 2010

Beer Philosophers #10 - My True Love Gave to Me

“You know, I never really understood the 12 days of Christmas.”

“Oh?”

“Was it like, 12 actual days?”

“I think so. Yes.”

“Before or after Christmas?”

“I think both.”

“Okay. And Christmas was still Christmas? Just one of the 12 days?”

“I think so.”

“Huh….”

“Look. Don’t forget. All this started as a solstice celebration. The shortest day of the year. What better way to cheer yourself up in the dark than to light lights, give gifts, and get totally plastered? Christmas used to be rowdy, man.”

“Well, drinking always cheers me up.”

“Then why get drunk one measly day? You might as well add 11 more.”

“I see. I think I get it. So it wasn’t some religious reason. Like the 12 wise men, or something like that.”

“You mean the three wise men.”

“Or the 12 hours of the day.”

“Are you serious? There are 24 hours in the day. The twelve happen twice.

“Right. Right.”

“Man, you should lay off the wassail. Seriously.”

“Don’t want me dozen off?”

“You mean dozing?”

“No, I’m mean dozen. Like twelve. Get it?? Ha!”

“Give me the freaking cup! “

“Back off. Or I’m gonna call Adam 12. Put The Man on you.”

“Now!”

“Dude! Get off me! You’re gonna-- Awww nice, you frigging spilled it all over me.”

“Here’s 12 bucks. Take it to the dry cleaner.”

7 comments:

M. said...

Haha! These get better and better, I've always loved these 2 homies. Thanks, Jason, this was another fun read! ;)

the walking man said...

If you've never had authentic Wassail then you would never know that 1 cup is too much. Good lord throwing the dregs of every keg into a big bowl and drinking that swill could lead our two friends to just this kind of conversation.

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

LOL! I still say I know these guys! Great work!

Shadow said...

oh i love this!!!!!

jason evans said...

M., and I like sharing them with you!

Walking Man, that's certainly true to the festival tradition. Pour it all into a bowl and choke it down!

Kaye, I think it's cool that they feel familiar to you. Maybe you wouldn't mind hanging out with them. :)

Shadow, thank you!

Atrisa said...

Haha drunk talk!

jason evans said...

Atrisa, dudes to the end.