Saturday, July 16, 2011

Entry #36

Revenge of the Jellybeans
by MG Ainsworth


With trepidation I add the last two ingredients to the pot. The contents turn red and begin to bubble and snap, sending sparks across the room. Soon the mixture begins to glow bathing the room in red light. I open the bag of yellow jelly beans. They are all banana flavored, his favorite flavor. They will be the instruments of my revenge. I cross my fingers and wish for success before dropping the first jelly bean into the pot. Bubbles form on the bean and it begins to glow. Slowly it rises from the liquid in the pot, a flaming hot yellow orb. It floats, waiting for my command. I drop the remaining of jelly beans into the pot and watch them rise and glow. I have a flaming jelly bean army at my command.

It’s 7 AM. He always showers at 7:15. I walk to his apartment, my army following. I stand outside the front door listening for the shower before using the key he’s forgotten I have to open the door. I send the beans into the apartment and will them to attack. I am rewarded thirty seconds later by the sight of him streaking out of his apartment, naked and wet, flaming banana jelly beans in pursuit. He reaches the street below crowded with morning commuters. As they begin to laugh and point my revenge is as sweet as the sugary yellow jellybeans he likes so much. No one cheats on me and gets away with it.

42 comments:

Aerin said...

I don't know whether to applaud or laugh or both.

"flaming jelly bean army at my command" are NOT words I ever expected in my life to read, and I love them.

Cath Barton said...

Sweet revenge! Nice one.

j a zobair said...

This is very creative! If only she could use her genius for good... :)

Joni said...

10 points for originality. That image will stick with me for a long time, and I may never look at jelly beans the same again.

Thanks for this.

Precie said...

Love it! What imagery!

pegjet said...

In a million years, I wouldn't have seen a yellow jelly bean in the prompt, but boy, am I glad you did.
Hilarious.

Mikki said...

*insert wild laughter here* An army of jelly beans at her command! What did she expect, dating a guy with a craving for banana jelly beans? Do you think she'd be willing to hire out her services?

Seriously, you've created a great piece here. It's filled with humor and delightful description. I'm not sure I'll be able to erase the image of a guy running stark naked down the street, chased by an army of yellow jelly beans. Excellent job.

Thanks for sharing!

Michael Morse said...

Ahhh, the old jelly bean witches brew trick! Didn't see that coming. Very enjoyable read, thank you!

M.G. Ainsworth said...

Thanks for the feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I was smiling the entire time I was writing it. I absolutely hate banana flavored jelly beans.

Aimee Laine said...

Flaming yellow banana jelly bean army! haaaaaahahaha! priceless. :)

Lizzie's Blog said...

Too funny!! Banana jellybeans are the worst. hahaha

strugglingwriter said...

I like it. Love the imagination. The only part I find unrealistic is that anybody could like anything banana flavored :)

Paul (entry 39)

poemblaze said...

Fun flash(er) fiction! Quite a creative response to the prompt!

Catrina said...

Not what I was expecting (i.e. poison). Very creative. Good job.

Phil W said...

Ha! This is crazy. I'd like to see these beans go against killer tomatoes.

Sandra Cormier said...

That's much more effective than keying his car. Bravo!

Peter Dudley said...

She should have known never to trust a man who likes banana flavored jelly beans.

This is a hoot.

M.G. Ainsworth said...

I can't believe no one else saw a flaming jellybean with wings. Maybe I'd better get my head examined :-)

fairyhedgehog said...

This was so unexpected: who could have thought of using an army of flaming jelly beans as revenge? And all they do is cause him to flee, naked, as opposed to burning him up. What a lovely light touch and a satisfying ending.

wrath999 said...

A vivid imagination and great tale!

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

See? This is why I never eat jelly beans, lol, never know who your next army of annihilators are going to be.

Dottie :)

(I bet he never looks at a banana jelly bean the same way)

Scribblers Inc said...

HAH! Totally my kinda writing! :D
Many a times I have tried pulling similar stunts with my shorts, with occasional success. You, my dear friend have nailed it!

Awesome imagery and great language.

wishes
Mithun.

P.S.-Easily one of my favs in the competition. :)

Crafty Green Poet said...

Wonderful absurd humour in this!

Jade L Blackwater said...

pure awesome. extra bonus points for banana jelly beans!!!

bluesugarpoet said...

Hilarious! If he knew she had such power, he might not have cheated. But then again, he loves those banana flavored jelly beans... Love it! ~Jana A

Old Kitty said...

Most definitely hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!! I really enjoyed this and will avoid banana flavoured jelly beans in the future! Take care
x

Aidan Fritz said...

Flaming jelly bean army, beautiful premise. You capture their history so economically by stating that banana is his favorite. Nice.

Aniket said...

Haha. Thanks for spreading the joy around on otherwise super-dark contest. Laurel and I, used to keep body-counts in the past contests, but earth has been destroyed so many times over in this contest that no point counting. This is, without a doubt, the bloodiest contest ever! And, this piece was a breath of fresh-banana-scented-air.

You don't have to get your head examined. It works just fine. :)

Thank you, so very much for the laughs.

Mystico said...

ROFL

That pretty much encompasses my response to these two paragraphs of absolute genius.

P.S. I can't believe I didn't see a yellow jellybean with flaming wings. Can I come and have my head checked with you?

M.G. Ainsworth said...

Awwwwww..... I am so pleased that it entertained and provoked some smiles and laughter. How will I top it next time? The only thing scarier than flying banana jelly beans are clowns :-) Thanks everyone for the comments and feedback!

phatichar said...

Hell has no fury like a "Jeannie" scorned...ROTFL

Still chuckling at the image of jelly beans chasing the poor sod..

Wonderful writing this.

C Sonberg Larson said...

and now for something completely different.....
This is funny and fun. Very creative. Thanks!

Erratic Thoughts said...

Haha...this was such a fun read...Now that I see the prompt again, I cant stop myself but laugh at the yellow flame (-jellybean?)...
Just brilliant!

Brigid said...

Your title is my favourite in the contest.
A refreshing, humourous tale. A Roald Dahl feel to it, enjoyable.
They should label those jellybeans a bit more carefully.

Apple Ardent Scott said...

Oh yes, vengeance is Sweet! Love this!

Chris Allinotte said...

This was so much fun, and I can only echo how wonderful the image of the swarming beans is. Cool.

JaneyV said...

Yellow jelly beans should only ever be lemon flavoured. The banana ones are even more disgusting than the cinnamon ones and they are the closest things to vomit flavour that you can get.

M.G. I loved this piece so much. Your light touch and dark humour tickled me pink. The whole premise is genius. I love the silliness of the revenge. Priceless!

Drew said...

This made me laugh, I really like it! Nice work!

Richard Levangie said...

MG: Blogger has TWICE eaten my comment.

Third time pays for all. Your entry was a hoot and I loved it. Should an award be given for sheer originality, you'd have it sewn up!

M.G. Ainsworth said...

Janie - I agree both Banana and Cinnamon beans are disgusting! I pretty much hate babnan flavored anything as a matter of fact. I don't like bananas but curiously will eat banana bread.
*
Richard - I'm so glad you made a 3rd attempt to post. Thanks for your comment.
*
Thanks again to everyone who commented and enjoyed the story.

Wavemancali said...

This made me crave jellybeans and made my top 5. Glad to see you in the 40's club for this one. Look forward to seeing your entry next contest :)

jason evans said...

Devilishly, sweetly creative. Jelly bean armies advance! Solid writing.

Congrats on Forties Club!