Sunday, July 17, 2011

Entry #43

Quest
by Aniket Thakkar


“You’re soul be cursed, shall you touch it.”

The evil sorceress stared with intent to intimidate me. And succeeded.

She often bluffed about these curses. But it seemed serious this time. One can never be sure with her, for she is the mistress of deception. She looks frail, but can summon super-human strength. She also has a minion to her aid. He is quite nice to me when she isn’t around. I suspect she can also do the mind-control thing.

I eyed the golden fluid of ecstasy, she warned me off, of. Off-of. Off. Of.

May be I could just have some and she wont notice. No risk, no game, eh? I stepped on the first boulder to climb my way to the second. It stumbled a bit, but I was determined.

I finally climbed my way to the top, with the prize just at an arms length. Um, I have short arms, so make that two arms length or a legs length if you must.

I reached out to get my hands on pure magic. Inches away now. Nothing could stop me. Damn. Why did I say those jinxed words? I looked around. I saw no one. Maybe I was lucky!

“Nick! What the hell are you doing up there?”

I wasn’t.

She continued, “Mom specifically told you to stay away from Peanut Butter, didn’t she? Just you wait till I tell her!”

Darn it. Did I tell you about my evil sister? Right-hand girl to the evil sorceress…

41 comments:

Catvibe said...

LOL Aniket, er, I mean NIck. You totally had me going with the fantasy thing. I love the immersion into the child's mind. Wonderful!

Michael Morse said...

I really like the way you think, and your ability to write what you are thinking.

Aerin said...

I love you, Aniket.

Wait. I can't tell if I really do or if I suspect you're doing the mind-control thing.....

Wendy said...

Aw, sweet. Love it.

Aniket said...

@Cat: Its quite Calvinish I know. But as soon as I saw the hand a cookie jar came to mind. But peanut butter, suited the picture more. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

@Michael: I don't hear that often (people liking what I think ;)) Thank you for your kind words.

@Aerin: I love you too, Aerin. *I'm the droid you're looking for*

@Wendy: Aw, thanks! :)

Precie said...

That's adorable! Great POV!

j a zobair said...

It's totally Calvinish and so darn cute. Perfect pov. Did he really think he'd escape her wrath??

Seriously, there have been a lot of heavier pieces (*hides*) and this was like a shot of joy.

I've missed these two!

Aimee Laine said...

Ah, but the beauty of siblings telling on one another. ;) Good luck keeping him away! :)

Aniket said...

@Precie: Thanks!

@Jazzy: I know, it would've been less fun for you, coz you'd be expecting it. But thank you for your constant support and inspiring to create these characters. I love 'em too.

@Aimee: In reality, I was the teller on my brother. Not my proudest days. :)

Krunal said...

reminded me of Calvin...though he didn't have any sister...but the imagination is as vivid.

meetu said...

cuteness. And adorableness. :P

Loren Eaton said...

Ah, now that's a fun ending!

Margaret said...

Who'd have thought you'd come up with a Nick/Jenny saga to this prompt, Aniket!

I'm so glad you did. It's a treat to read. This is what you do best.

Loved it!! :)

Aniket said...

Whooops! A friend pointed out that I've goofed up between your and you're right in the first line!!!

How did I miss that! *Pay attention while editing, Aniket. Pay attention* Ah, but the damage is done. :'(


@Krunal: Thanks. If it reminded you of Calvin, my work is done.

@Meetu: Thankness! :)

@Loren: Thank you.

@Margaret: When nothing else comes to mind, I go back to Nick and Jenny. :) I know at least you and Jenny would love it.

j a zobair said...

Aniket, who cares about the you're/your thing?? You have more spirit in you than most. Who can read this and not smile?

Maybe he can get some revenge with a misplaced anole...is it wrong to admit that I usually root for him?? :)

Amrita said...

Hehe... I don’t want to play spoil sport here but i was half expecting you to come up with a naughty (or should i say nutty) piece like this one.

The last line immediately makes you chuckle though and a kid like Calvin instantly comes to mind... :)

Well done (though i don’t need to say it do i?? :) )

fairyhedgehog said...

The ending really made this for me! I love it that peanut butter is the "golden fluid of ecstasy".

Aniket said...

@Jazzy: Jason, does. :P But not winning is okay. I'm enjoying as it is. :) And its okay to root for him, after all he is surrounded by such evilness.

@Amrita: I think I'm on the right track if naughtiness is to be expected of me. :D You don't have to say 'well done' but I do love to hear it.

@fairyhedgehog: I'm glad you liked it. P.S: I like toblerone much more than snickers though.

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

Another favorite! Love the feel of this. Lol, I like that the evil sorceress was a mom, I feel my work is complete...along with my minion, the tattletale.

Dottie :)

bluesugarpoet said...

I always love your writing - you find the imaginative in the ordinary and fun surprises await in the end. :) This one makes me hungry...

Old Kitty said...

Wonderful!! You captured a wonderful voice with such a rich imagination! I love this story, thank you, take care x

Jade L Blackwater said...

Totally excellent story telling - love the voice! Some of the references are delightfully familiar.

Sarah Hina said...

Your getting a grammatical pass from me. ;)

Charming, well paced, with a golden ending to boot. Who wouldn't love Nick??

Aniket said...

@Dottie: :D :D Thanks for such a lovely comment. You've made my day! All the best for your future evilness. ;)

@Jana: Such a lovely thing to say. You can always join me for some totally unhealthy food. :)

@OldKitty: I'm glad you loved it. Thank you for your appreciation.

@Jade: Haha. Well, I'm sure you're living a "happening" life if you find familiarity. Thank you.

@Sarah: If you wouldn't give me a free pass, I wonder who would? ;) I'm so glad you could stop by. Makes the contest complete for me. Just like old days. :D

Peter Dudley said...

Delightful! You had me going on the fantasy bit all the way to the sister. I love that the intimidation worked, but not really, and she bluffs a lot. The evil sorceress. I'll be laughing about this all night.

JaneyV said...

Aniket - this is just so charming and heartwarming. I love Nick! I love his imagination and the descriptions of his Mom and sister. Particularly his Mom as I have been known to employ similar sorcery myself.

Wonderful, wonderful humour! Loved. It.

JaneyV said...

BTW I share your pain at the your/ you're thing. I put and extra full stop/period in mine and cut a two-word sentence in half so that it doesn't make any sense. I can't believe I didn't catch it before I submitted. Every time I read it now it irritates the hell outta me.

Frustration! ;0)

Aniket said...

@Peter: I'm so glad that you liked it. :)

@Janey: I KNOW! Right? I just can't get it out of my head. There should be three lifelines or something, to be able to edit later. I had written the piece but was unhappy with the first line. So kept changing it to find the one I like. And I changed it one last time from "You're gonna regret, if you touch it", but missed out on the "you're" part. Have been banging my head on the wall ever since. I don't care if Jason cuts points or whatever for that. But I just wish, I could change it. Aaarrghhh!

Oh, and thank you for such a nice comment btw. With your hair(which I love, btw. But Laurel's family takes the prize on that. Where is she?) you look the part of a sorceress too. Tee Hee. :)

Stephen Parrish said...

Absolutely delightful.

Richard Levangie said...

A sweet story! I had four evil sorceresses in my family growing up, and I never got away with anything!

Mikki said...

Very cute! What a fun piece.

Thank you for sharing!

C Sonberg Larson said...

FINALLY! Someone else feels the same way about peanut butter as I do!

The golden fluid of ecstasy----hee hee. I love the set up, it makes the reality so much more enjoyable and funny.

Great job. Love your take on the prompt.

Phil W said...

Ha, hah! I love it. Good storytelling.

Aniket said...

@Stephen: Thanks!

@Richard: Four is wayy to many to tackle. I feel for you. :)

@Mikki: You know my pet name is Mickey. :) Did you get a lot of Mickey Mouse jokes thrown at you too. It was worse for me, as I was named after him.
I'm glad you liked the piece.

@C Sonberg: Thank you for such a lovely comment. :) The beauty of this contest is we see earths doom, mother's womb, jelly beans and peanut butter all in the same pick. Now, if only they were in the same story, that would be a masterpiece.

@Phil: Thank you!

phatichar said...

Totally agree with Krunal about the Calvin thingy!

Superb.

Erratic Thoughts said...

You are such a pro at this...Oh I simply loved this!
I have one such evil sister at my place..Darn they always know when to strike...right time and right place..Grr!
Great piece...

Bruce Roush said...

Yore peace waz gud. Loved the take on siblings and their power to control in one way or another.

Aniket said...

@Phatichar: I'll take anything remote resemblance to Calvin as a huge compliment. Thanks!

@Erratic Thoughts: You've always stuck around and provided constant support for my work. (Even when I've been so super-inconsistent with posts lately) I can't thank you enough for that. What'll we do without our evil siblings. :)

@Bruce: Thanks a lot, Bruce.

Katherine Tomlinson said...

A boy's reach must exceed his grasp! Seems like you had a lot of fun with this one. Pesky sisters... Really enjoyed it.

jason evans said...

I like these twists that fold back to childhood. Evil little sister indeed! He's done for.

Aniket said...

@Katherine: Thanks a ton. I really did have a lot of fun writing this piece. I'm glad it reflected on you.

@Jason: Thank you, for providing this platform for us to share our work. As always, I had a blast writing, reading and making friends.