Thursday, July 14, 2011

Entry #6

Mine, All Mine
by Cath Barton


It was bound to burn him, that molten lava. His hand will ossify and our descendants will find it when, at length, they excavate this area and wonder how such creatures once walked upon the Earth. I’ll miss him, but what could I do? He wanted the golden centre and it’s mine. I’ve worked hard to get to where I am. I’ve worn my fingers to the bone so why shouldn’t he? Sorry, just my little joke.

What will you do now, my friends? Will you cross the burning lake and approach the place of the crimson Phoenix? I think not. I think you will flee the volcano. But the ash will fall upon you in whatever you are doing. It will catch you in sex or in war, in postures sublime or demeaning, and hold you there for the rest of time. Of this you will know nothing. You will have no chance to read my words. I write them only for our descendants, so that my name will live on.

So you later ones, you who are reading this, consider the lessons of history. Seek not to meddle with nature for she is ever supreme and will consume you. I alone was able to control the forces, and I do so still. The red and the gold are my colours. I am the centre of everything and beyond. Perhaps you have read the name God. I am not he. I am the Other and I will return.

27 comments:

Aimee Laine said...

That was just a wee-bit chilling. :) And very philosophical. :) Well done!

Precie said...

Fascinating voice!

Jade L Blackwater said...

Excellent job with the voice - a little cold, a little cruel, a little irresistible.

Mikki said...

Hmm . . . This one gave me chills. Your voice seeped through the page, and I felt as though I was listening to the speaker firsthand. Nice work.

Thanks for sharing!

Aniket said...

I wish Alan Rickman could recite this piece. I'd love to hear it in his voice.

Like others pointed out, great job in nailing the voice.

fairyhedgehog said...

I had just got the moral of not meddling with nature when you threw the twist at me in the final sentences! (Can you throw a twist?) Anyway, it pulled me up short and felt very menacing.

Catrina said...

For some reason this reminds me of Milton's Satan.

Intriguing idea. I'd love to see more.

j a zobair said...

Very powerful! I especially liked the second paragraph.

Nice job!

Cath Barton said...

Thanks so much for all your positive comments - much appreciated.

Peter Dudley said...

Interesting! I like the other comments. Chilling, menacing, cruel, irresistible. I had a thought to go the Pompeii route but ended up choosing differently.

Michael Morse said...

Great interpretation of the prompt, I saw it clearly as I read your story, and probably would have envisioned some similar images had I never seen it.

bluesugarpoet said...

Echos of Gollum for me - greedy and an egomaniac. Well done! ~Jana

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

How....devilish!!! Nicely done!

Dottie :)

JaneyV said...

I love that Satan appears to be a voice for conservation and respect for mother nature, but then again she can be a destructive little whotsit, can't she?

As was said before, nice work on the malevolent voice.

Old Kitty said...

Fantastic ending line!! Wow!!!! A truly chilling story and warning! Take care
x

Richard Levangie said...

Cath...

I, too, love the how the Other is working within, or through, Mother Nature by controlling the forces of red and gold. A fine interpretation of the prompt.

Cath Barton said...

Thank you, thank you, all of you. You don't know just how important encouraging words are to me at the moment.

Chris Allinotte said...

Very cool piece. I love the Pompei reference, and the "in sex or war" line.

It's not the first time I've heard "The Other" presented as a force of Chaotic Nature - but it's up there with the better ones.

yamini said...

"I am the Other and I will return".. This sent a chill down my spine..

Very gripping and neat. Good job!

Aidan Fritz said...

This evoked a sense of Pompeii for me. I like the voice and particularly I’ve worn my fingers to the bone so why shouldn’t he? Sorry, just my little joke. that captures a little of the callousness of the other.

jrthumbprints said...

I like how your narrator addresses the reader, how he reaches out to say he is the "Other One."

Apple Ardent Scott said...

Well-put. A stern warning and heated imagery. I like this.

Erratic Thoughts said...

Elemental!:)
"I am the Other and I will return" scary...
Nice work!

Linda Ryan-Harper said...

this ending surprised me and that ain't easy...very nice work...ps: I hope you can let go of the devil now that you no longer need to use his voice—you didn't sign anything for him, did you?

Cath Barton said...

I appreciate every one of your comments - thank you so much.

Aerin said...

hee hee hee - I'm in a grad program at USC, whose colors are cardinal and gold.

Unique voice, vivid word choice.

jason evans said...

I'm intrigued by the speaker and scope of the piece. It feels huge and ancient.

Congrats on Forties Club!