Monday, July 18, 2011

Entry #68

Graduation Day
by Rohan


Munna lied chest down beside a car and reached out to a half-eaten bun under it. He got up, pocketed the day's meal and wiped his greasy hands against his threadbare vest. Life on the streets had sucked out of him what the more privileged called 'childhood'.

Munna's average work day was no different than most kids around him: petty thefts, pick pocketing, gambling...the usual. In a year or two, serious career choices would have to be made: the local bootlegging ring or pimping, for instance.

Abandoned at birth and now twelve, Munna made his way to his spot near the garbage dump. On his way, he passed the pot-bellied constable Shankar who had roughed him up two days back for breaking into a fight with a fruit vendor who had captured his corner.

'Filthy bastards like you should be fed to vultures!' shouted Shankar, glaring at Munna.

Munna smiled and started to hum a sleazy Bollywood number. Shankar would not touch him till he paid his weekly dues for his spot.

Unless of course, he got a better offer.

Munna turned back and ran as fast as the thought that came to his mind. He grabbed a knife stuck on a ripe watermelon and slit the vendor's throat.

Shankar was a mere witness to the murder. He saw Munna as a new recruit to the city's largest contract killing business and a means to a fat commission.

Munna had just graduated elementary school.

18 comments:

j a zobair said...

A raw and gripping portrait. I wanted it to go differently for him!

Aimee Laine said...

You painted a very nasty picture and using a child so young makes it all the more evil.

Aniket said...

This could surely be used for one of the indian movies. But I don't mean it as a derogatory statement (as most of them are crap). But this does go on in a country like ours.

I really liked how you portrayed the cop here. It acted as a "twist" if you choose to call it that.

A very well written piece.

SzélsőFa said...

aw, this nicely written story is quite disturbing. the worst part is that it is based on reality :(
one may start to wonder what secondary school will bring to Munna...

Amrita said...

Your characters are very real, and you have portrayed their personalities so well in just a few words.

I love your take on the picture (theme) of the contest and your last line.

Great job :)

Precie said...

Szelsofa took the words right out of my fingers.

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

So gritty...so disturbing..and yet so true. Can't say more than what's already been said.

Dottie :)

Damyanti said...

I loved the ending.

fairyhedgehog said...

I really wanted there to be some hope for a better future for him and by the end all hope is gone.

Krunal said...

i totally love how you put across this story, a very nice take on the prompt

bluesugarpoet said...

You've painted a grippingly real portrait of an unfortunate life. It almost seems wrong to say "great job" - but great job! ~Jana

Old Kitty said...

Brutal!! A really powerful story, thank you, take care x

Col Bury said...

Hi Rohan,

Sadly, there's an undercurrent of truth running through this story. I like the characterisation, particularly the callous cop.
'Nice' work.

Regards,
Col

Richard Levangie said...

Like others, I found this vivid and disturbing, and all the more so because it happens every day in the real world. There's so much truth in good fiction.

Rohan said...

Thank you all for your comments. Munna is one of the countless street children in south east Asia whose story is not very different from what I have tried to present here. I hope I did justice to the prompt and to you readers.

Mikki said...

I love the cold, cruel snark hidden behind that last line. You brought your character to life.

Thank you for sharing!

JaneyV said...

Rohan - this is gut-wrenchingly sad. The school of the street is very harsh indeed.

jason evans said...

The scope of this piece was very effective. Not easy to do at this length.