Monday, July 18, 2011

Entry #70

The Fire Blessing
by Aerin Rose


Shadows of the fire wards shimmered gold and crimson in the flames of Lillith’s hair. Firebird, salamander, dragon - we’d bonded during the infinite expanses of time I’d spent tangled in bed with Lillith. Now they peered out, one by one, in silent goodbyes. I avoided looking at her as I worked my earthen features into the shapes Yahweh suggested.

"I guess it could have been Undine.” Lillith’s voice was lukewarm.

“The water elemental as mother of humanity?”

“I guess not. Nor Sylph, either.”

“We’ve been through this, Lil. I’m going. Help me with my torso.”

She slid her hands beneath my arms and lifted. Although I’d melted into her heat countless times, that lava skin now felt acidic against mine. As my waist lengthened, ribs grew to support my new frame.

“You shouldn’t have to change for this animal.”

“Adam. His name is Adam. What do you want me to do? Who should go instead?”

The words kindled between us; we both knew Yahweh had asked for the fire elemental. For her. She was the first to turn away.

“I’ve already received the blessings of air and water,” I said. “Now the fire blessing.”

The incandescent salamander appeared in a burst of sparks on my hand. His bright tail gripped as he bit my finger, flint to touchstone, fire scorching my blood.

“I will always love you.” I raised my eyes to hers a final time. “But I can’t forgive you.”

My lover whispered, “Eve,” and I was gone.


(Aerin Rose: With thanks to Fritz.)

45 comments:

Precie said...

Dammit, I knew you would throw together something magnificent. Sensual and mythical and yet concrete. Off to update my list of favs.

Michael Morse said...

Creating creation in 250 words. This is why I look forward to this contest, inspiration delivered, thank you Aerin.

j a zobair said...

Um, can I say holy crap without sounding like an idiot??

This is amazing. I reread it three times, not to understand but to savor. This one is for savoring.

Stephen Parrish said...

Nice job, Aerin. Succinct, loaded with meaning, and subtle. I love subtle.

Catrina said...

Wonderful. This gave me chills.

The dialogue is just beautiful. Heartrendingly beautiful.

csonberglarson said...

Wonderful imagery. You've accomplished so much in so few words. Impressive. The last line gives that "whoa" effect that keeps the reader thinking afterward. Nice work!

strugglingwriter said...

Great imagery. Very nice work. My entry feels like an insignifant fart joke compared to this.

Well done.

Aimee Laine said...

Very interesting creation story for Eve. Very unique. :)

raine said...

Aerin, you have a gift. :)
Love the voice, the relationship, the way so much is left unsaid.
Never would have thought of approaching it this way. Go, you!!

Aerin said...

Thank you, everyone. I had fun doing this one.

RAINE! Darling, I never realize how much I miss you until I see you here!! Thank you SO much for reading!

Linda Ryan-Harper said...

The Association of Gay and Lesbian might raise hell with your story which is a same sex version of the original love triangle: a man, a woman, and an apple—the snake in the grass was only secondary. And I don't want to even think how the Evangelical Christian community might respond and thus I give you high marks for not pandering to special interest groups.

Katherine Tomlinson said...

Lovely sensual, magical prose. I very much enjoyed this story.

Aniket said...

You're going to mark a permanent spot for yourself in the top 5 aren't you? I can picture you imitating Sheldon - That's my spot.

How can I not love everything you do, but this I'd love even if I wasn't under your spell. "She slid her hands beneath my arms and lifted. " is just a simple line to read. But the way you had captured me, I could see it all happening Awesome piece from awesome, you.

Wendy said...

Aerin, so beautiful.

SzélsőFa said...

wow, this is myth in creation. great job.

Margaret said...

All I can say is, I wish I could write as good as this, Aerin.

You put so much into 250 words - like magic!

A beautiful, sensual story.

Cath Barton said...

I particularly like the incandescent salamander. Good piece.

Scribblers Inc said...

The champs are back in biznezz!! :D
Its so much fun watching amazing writers like you craft beautiful pieces like these, and even then not have paperbacks from you guys to hold on to. But thats the scheme of things I guess!

Totally loved this one! :)
wishes

Mithun.
#72

Charles Gramlich said...

Great use of the "fire" theme. Lovely.

Clara said...

Beautiful! Great job!

Four Dinners said...

Above my head babe. I love it but I have no idea why. I'm just daft.

Beautiful feeling when I read it.

4D x

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

Creationism just went to a whole new level, never thought of Adam and Eve quite this way before. Nicely done.

Dottie :)

Aidan Fritz said...

Gorgeous imagery and I love the sensual way the images enact this fresh envisioning of creation.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Seriously awesome. I love it that Lilith and Eve were lovers first. And this is a beautiful way to show Lilith declined to be with Adam.

Wonderful!

JaneyV said...

Aerin, you amaze me. I have always adored your naturalistic dialogue - it's always so truthful - and here again you infuse such depth into the piece with honest simplicity. Not that this is a simple piece - it's complex, layered and intriguing. I just LOVE it.

I've said it before - you totally rock!

Joni said...

"can you help me with my torso?"
Um, maybe the best line ever.

Sandra Cormier said...

Well, my dear, you have outdone yourself. How exquisite.

Sarah Hina said...

Beautiful, daring, and ingenuous. Why am I not surprised?

phatichar said...

Absolutely brilliant writing, this. And I just loved the end...could almost hear the whisper in my ears.

Fantastic!

fairyhedgehog said...

Such a different take on all the myths! Fascinating.

Erratic Thoughts said...

Are you for real?This is so good...
You have used the real crux of the prompt with brilliant use of all elements...!

jrthumbprints said...

Not only is the imagery "spot-on," the pacing is excellent!

Chris Allinotte said...

This is just brilliant, and fits perfectly within the word count, without feeling rushed.

The dialogue was natural, and the imagery of Lilith as a fire elemental - inspired.

bluesugarpoet said...

Your writing is amazing as always, Aerin! Brilliant idea and brilliantly executed. "You shouldn't have to change for this animal." That line is timeless! Bravo! ~Jana

Old Kitty said...

I loved the richness and sensuality of the story! Thank you, take care
x

Apple Ardent Scott said...

This is reminiscent, inspiring, enlightening, and creative on so many levels. Very nice!

Richard Levangie said...

Aerin: Interesting and iconoclastic which, as you might know, I always enjoy. Though I'm surprised that a theology grad would misspell Lilith throughout. :-)

Anonymous said...

Aerin, fabulous. The relationship is so clear, and the writing is so smooth. Beautiful.

Aerin said...

Thanks again, everyone. I'm in the last week of my summer term and I hope to get back to reading entries after my credential exam tomorrow!

Richard - that's funny, I didn't think it was possible to misspell a transliteration of a word from another language. But I didn't think it was prudent to use the actual Hebrew, since not many people can read it.

Mikki said...

Intriguing concept, brilliant description. I love creation myths with a twist.

Thank you for sharing!

Rachel said...

Wow. An understatement for sure. In the patriarchy the women always get such bad press, and oh, poor, poor Adam. He was tricked you know! HA! I'm gonna make sure my Fem friends read this if nothing else. I love the mythological archetypes getting upset....

Shalom, Baruch Shekinah!

(PS I'm an ex-sem student - nice to meet you)

rocky wing said...

obviously the description is great, but what i particularly like is the rich texture filled tension of the dialogue. and the line particularly "i will always love you, but i can't forgive you." love the dichotomy of that.

Kiki said...

I'm not sure this counts as "studying for your credential exam."

Josh said...

Gratz, Aerin! Great to see your excellent writing getting the attention it deserves.

jason evans said...

I don't want to see them part. Lillith's heartbreak deosn't need to be spoken. Somehow, it permeates. Super unique idea! Strong writing.

Congrats on Forties Club!