Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Entry #93

Muslin-Shrouded Boy
by Brigid O'Connor


Past a moor, north as the crow flies, you will find an old ruin crumbling into decay, windows long gone.

At sunset, people of a certain temperament feel drawn towards the ruin which lies beneath the bleeding sun. Their hands reach towards it, they seek heat to warm their bones.

Here is where lies their folly, heat has centuries ago leaked from this ivy covered ruin, all that's left now is the unrelenting cold of the otherworld. Those brave enough to feel the chill of the time after the flat line of life echoes no more, enter through the doors.

If you stand still in the great hall close to dusk, you will see the muslin-shrouded image of a boy aged seventeen.

Look closely if you dare and see the blonde lock of hair sweep over his black eyelashed, sapphire blue, eyes.

By his side a girl of maybe sixteen holds his ghostly hand, black ringlets cascade down her back.

She leans into him, always.

He was rumoured to be a fine soldier, but not brave enough to defy the generations of his family who had chosen his bride.

On the eve of his wedding he used his favourite sword to remove him and his true love to another realm.

Only the living cried.

The boy and his love would rather have faced eternity than live a living death in this world, where a boy could not marry a serving girl.

Listen hard enough, and you will sense them smile.

20 comments:

Joni said...

Star-crossed lovers, mummy style. I like it.

Precie said...

To me this has a Wuthering Heights quality...romantic, ethereal...I could see this story being told on a walking tour in England. :)

Aimee Laine said...

Listen hard enough, and you will sense them smile. Love this line!

Brigid said...

Thanks Joni, glad you like it.

Precie, thank you, I am a huge Bronte fan. Here in Ireland, we have plenty of those crumbling ruins that tell a story or two.

Aimee, thanks for reading my piece and your lovely comment.

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

Sweetly told tale of forbidden love and how the young lovers escaped to find happiness, even if it's in the hereafter. Nicely done!

Dottie :)

Erratic Thoughts said...

"...sense them smile" nicest line I've heard/read this week...
Love is not always wise, but it is always pure :)

Brigid said...

Dottie, thanks for reading it and your lovely comment.

Erratic Thoughts, thank you for the compliment.

phatichar said...

Totally agree with Precie...could even feel the cold wind in my face reading this. :)

Lovely.

SzélsőFa said...

a nicely told legend, realistic and romantic at that. old ruines do capture our minds don't they? they seem to be telling stories of past lives... if one listens close enough, as you did :)

Deb Smythe said...

Great descriptions. I not only saw the setting, I felt it. I also liked the way the lyrical, leisurely prose matched the scene.

Brigid said...

Phatichar, thank you, sorry for giving you chills.

SzeloFa, you just have to listen is right.

Deb, thank you for your lovely comment.

bluesugarpoet said...

Star-crossed lovers find peace in the most unlikely way - touching little love story. :) ~Jana A

Old Kitty said...

Oh wow!!!! Oh wowowowowoow!! Brigid - you are truly a supreme story teller - I loved the musicality of this piece - and the romance! Wow!!! Doomed but not doomed - they died together forever! Lovely!!!!!! Take care
x

Theresa Milstein said...

I remember another version of star-crossed lovers. I like this one better. Wonderful imagery.

Mikki said...

The ethereal tone lent a haunting quality to this piece, guiding me down a road to the supernatural realm occupied by your star-crossed lovers. This was an excellent read.

Thank you for sharing!

Richard Levangie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Richard Levangie said...

Brigid: So soft and bittersweet. Just as you suggested, it felt as quiet as a whisper.

Aerin said...

I HATE the plot from Wuthering Heights. And I LOVE the Brontes.

My point, of course, is that I need not "like" your characters to appreciate good writing. Which I do.

Peter Dudley said...

The wistful, haunting tone starts with the first words and the crow reference. That's my favorite aspect of this, the way you've chosen tone and words to convey the mood throughout. Not sure I loved some of the mismatched images (listen hard and sense the smile, the flat line of life echoing), but the rest of it is solid. I am definitely standing on a windswept moor.

jason evans said...

I love ghost stories. You wove a sweetness to this one. It permeated the writing. I especially liked the pacing.