Re-Creation
by Jason Evans
"You've returned."
"Yes."
"It has been long."
"Yes."
"And the spark from the hands of the creator shall raise the pillars of the world."
"I remember the words. And I did raise the world."
"But then you slept."
"I've awakened."
"Yes, I thought I felt a change in the world. What have you done?"
"First, I sought the heart of the oceans. I dove inside the woman of the waters."
"Ah! She taught you tides and the reach of mighty Tsunami. She taught you the cycles and the flows of the world."
"I drowned her in her waters."
"I see."
"Then, I soared to the palace of sky and called to the man of winds."
"Ah! He taught you the movements of the unseen and the invisible strength of air."
"I held him still. And his movements left him."
"I see."
"Then, I sought for the firmament of earth. But I found it to be nothing but the curve of your hands."
"True. The creator is the foundation. That upon which all else is built."
"So I last sought the cleansing hunger of fire."
"Did you learn to quench her?"
"No. And creation shall kindle the fire that will one day burn away the world."
"I remember the words."
"Fire is mine. It has always been mine."
"Creation always was equal parts destruction. You hold the fire in your hands?"
"Are you ready father?"
"No, a thing can never fully contemplate its own end."
"Are you ready?"
"Open them."
28 comments:
There's a haunting quality to the simplicity of this creation myth: an ethereal tone that radiates through the dialogue, lending a sense of realism to the words. It pulled me into the tale, granting me the position of silent spectator as your world opened upon the page. Excellent work.
Thank you for sharing your gift, and for running such an awesome contest.
Such a voice to this, Jason. I can hear the distinctness, the variance from one to the other. The flow is rich and velvety and so very poetic.
"No, a thing can never fully contemplate its own end."
That's my favorite line, absolutely.
:)
I agree with the word "haunting" to describe this. Nicely done.
Oooooh. Creation and destruction. Fire and water. Father and son.
The devil IS in the details!
Thank you so much for your wonderful contests and guidance. I hope to repay you someday.
I would swear I heard the blast of the first trumpet while I was reading this. And behold! I went outside and it was extremely hot; the earth was dried up and scorched. There was no movement of air to bring relief and no promise of much needed rain. And I said to myself: Jason! What have you done?
PS: I've had a lot of fun during this contest and came in contact with a lot generous, talented people. The writing is really good, the stories very inventive. Thank you, Jason, for being our hardworking, gracious host.
Incredibly poetic, complex without being over-written. Lovely.
i love how the power is shifted (in my read, that is...) from one to another, and i too, have my reading as to who these 'persons' are - this has a definite frightening approach...
very tense and intesreting writing, Jason.
Wow - even creation has a nemesis!! Wonderful!! Take care
x
Mikki, when I approach a piece of writing, I always have a certain mood and impact in mind. It's so great to hear the same things echoed back in a comment! Thanks. :)
Aimee, getting that distinction in voice is such a challenge in dialogue, isn't it? Especially when a piece is only dialogue.
Charles, I'll take that. :)
Sandra, it's my pleasure to serve as host. I thank you for the warm sentiment!
Linda, if you felt all of that just in the dialogue, then I'm very happy! In my writing, I always rely on the readers' brain to supply at least half of the experience. And thank you for the very kind words about the contest!
Katherine, I'm a big proponent of the less-is-more approach in my own writing. That gives the reader plenty of room to work.
Szelsofa, yes! It is very much about a power shift. And the turn of huge, cosmic cycle. I wonder if we experience smaller versions of these same themes.
Old Kitty, thanks for being such a huge commenter here! You've really helped to make the contest a big success!
very cool, dialogue-driven piece! thanks again for a great contest!
Nobody does pure dialogue like you.
Your dialogue pieces are always distinctive. This one, especially, because of its huge, mythic feel. It reminded me of a Hindu mandala. The cycle renews.
I can see ashes, but also a phoenix rising.
Ditto on the comments about the dialogue. It's difficult to pull off dialogue-only fiction, but you do it so well. As massive and mythic as the story is, you also ground it well in these characters. The father's sense of acceptance is so clear, so...responsible. So in the face of this destruction, I see the promise of a whole new universe, unlike what has come before. Excellent.
Spot on, Jason. Thank you! - and for your generous hosting of this competition.
Lovely dialogues, so resonant. Thanks for hosting this competition and sharing this piece with us.
Anne, you're always welcome. Thanks for throwing one down!
Stephen, much appreciated, my friend.
Sarah, maybe I'll break down and write a screenplay some day. I don't know why I'm drawn to dialogue so much. Perhaps because I'm drawn to people. And yes, in this vision I see the inexorable force of renewal.
Precie, I wanted to show the tie, but also the monumental tension between these two forces. I do believe that the things we create can be greater than ourselves. And as they grow, they sometimes have to power to come back and destroy us.
Cath, I've really enjoy my return to contests! As usual, my effort to time it well backfired with work, but I'm going to make it!
Damyanti, I always like to share my own vision. For me, that brings the contest full circle.
I love dialogue-only pieces. They are fast paced, full of action, and like you said - gives the reader half the task to "know" a character. Its reading your such pieces that I started practicing writing them. And never regretted that.
Like Aimee said, "No, a thing can never fully contemplate its own end" is as brilliant line!
Thank you for a yet another fabulous contest. It was great fun hanging out with old friends and new.
OMG!
You did the entire piece in dialogue...
You have made every word count!
"I drowned her in her waters." good God...such incredible wordplay...
Thank you Jason for sharing this and being such a generous host..I met some splendid minds and read some interesting pieces...
You amaze me :)
Great, crisp dialogue, Jason, a really enjoyable read.
I have enjoyed my trip over to your site, thanks for hosting it.
I normally write much lighter, humour infused fiction so it was a great experience to read all the darker responses to your prompt.
Jason, you're the genius of dialogue.
Thank you for hosting another wonderful contest. I just can't imagine how you find the time to do all you do!
Gotta love all-dialogue stories. This reminds me of something Terry Bisson would do.
Hi Jason,
So, you can not only host a cracker of a contest, but you're a helluva writer too!
Profound all-dialogue take, which makes the world created seem the size of a pea. A second read unfurls more, but this is one that will stand up to many future reads.
You're doing great things here and your time and effort is much appreciated.
Regards,
Col
Jason, I think that's just it--your genuine interest in and respect for (all kinds of) people that makes you want to step into their heads and let them speak. There is just this sense of letting people be heard that permeates your writing.
This is gorgeous and yet still has the sense about it of a "real," epic conversation.
Thanks for the contest and all of your time/effort!
Jason, I love the epic expansiveness of this little piece. Much to contemplate in these words, and these characters so eloquently expressed.
Although I haven't been as involved in this contest as I have been in the past, this has been one of my favorites. The prompt was excellent and I love where it took people. Thanks for all your effort in this. :-) So glad you gave it another round.
Hi Jason
Excellent piece...angst, pain, the old passing the reins to the young, never sure if one is ready to let the other happen.
Great prose here.
Dottie :)
Aniket, what I have the most fun with, I think, is showing action in dialogue without it feeling forced or contrived (hopefully). That's one of things that challenges me. We often react to each other's actions in what we say.
Erratic Thoughts, splendid minds...oooh that's what I love to here! Savor those minds! And thank you for the very kind words. :)
Brigid, that's wonderful if the prompt took you in a new direction. I do think there is much to be gained in this exercise and by seeing what others can craft.
Margaret, I'll settle for "adequate," but thank you! :D This contest had a great feel to it.
Loren, high praise. Thank you!
Col, even though it's insane for me to write a piece also (for a few reasons), I have to do it. Somehow I just feel that it grounds the whole thing. I don't hold myself apart from the exposure and risk. And thanks for the great feedback!
J.A. Zobair, I'm slow on the uptake. I finally realized that I know you! That explains the warmth of your comment. :) You've been a long time reader of Clarity. Thanks so much for that!
Catvibe, I agree, this was a great one. Lots of energy and community building. Maybe blogs still offer something that Twitter and Facebook don't. I'll probably be one of the last ones here when they turn out the lights. ;)
Dottie, yes, you described that tension and deep reluctance well! Thanks for all that you do.
[medal]
You win, okay? Cause this was glorious. :)
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