Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Beer Philosophers #11 - Absolute Zero



"Do realize you've been staring at the bottle opener for ten straight minutes?"

[…]

"Oh, you turned. That's good. You heard me. At least I know you're alive."

"Huh?"

"Do you want to lay down or something? It freaks me out when you sleep sitting up."

"I was thinking."

"Oh."

"About absolute zero."

"Yes?"

"It's the temperature when all motion stops."

"Right."

"It's true!"

"I feel like you embrace the state of absolute zero often."

"Think about it. Stillness…. Stoppage... Nothing at all, man. "

"Actually, you're wrong."

"No I'm not."

"No, really. Absolute zero is when all thermodynamic energy stops. Quantum motion within the atoms themselves never stops."

"See, there you go again. I'm the parade, and you're the rain. Why do you hate me so much?"

"Dude, I don't hate you! If the truth is out there, the truth must be spoken."

"You have a point."

"Wisdom, my friend, catch it. It's contagious."

"I'll tell you what, I'm going to be the first person in the history of the world to reach absolute zero. It's just a matter of discipline. Control."

"Dude, like I said. I've seen you there TONS of times."

"It just takes right breathing. The right focus. See? In…. Out…."

"Give me that bottle opener. You want another beer?"

"[…]"

"You know, I think absolute zero is horrible, really."

"How so?"

"Just imagine the work to keep it. The smallest particle hitting you…the smallest amount of energy…the smallest, most inconsequential force applied, and BAM, you've got heat."

"Hmm."

"It would like be trying to play king of the hill on a lump of mud. You'd spend the entire time scrambling back up after slipping off."

"I could stay cool in space."

"Nope. No good. Background microwave energy left over from the big bang would warm you like two degrees."

"Fuck."

"Give up the dream, man, for your own good."

"But I aspire to perfect nothingness! Don't try to tell me I can't get there!"

"Man, I swear, if anybody can do it, you can."

11 comments:

SzélsőFa said...

"You have a point."

"Wisdom, my friend, catch it. It's contagious."


heee :))

Erratic Thoughts said...

Lol...Had too many beers already,eh?
Absolutely drunk with zero realization!
I enjoyed this a lot,Jason...

the walking man said...

There is a difference between absolute zero and perfect nothingness. Another beer may warm you up some.

Wendy said...

I love the beer philosophers. Next time they are out hanging, I'm going too!

Lee said...

I love the beer philosophers too - they're becoming old friends.

KN. said...

Haahahah! The conversation was absolutely interesting yet amusing. :D

And the Quantum motion was a good point to make to the lover of Absolute Zero! :p

jason evans said...

Szelsofa, :D

Erratic Thoughts, yes, the beer philosophers use bubbly fuel.

Walking Man, dude #2 hasn't figured that out yet.

Wendy, you're more than welcome!

Lee, :)

KN, welcome! The beer philosophers even made an appearance on youtube.

Precie said...

Hey, the BPs are back! I think dude 2 needs to be careful what he wishes for.

jason evans said...

Precie, dude #2 is definitely his own worst enemy.

Furtheron said...

" I aspire to perfect nothingness" interesting... how the heck could you measure it - the act of measuring nothingness would in fact cause it to become something since it was measurable...

I'm doing my own head in now...

jason evans said...

Futheron, that's the spirit, man! All you need is a couple of beers, and you're all set.