Saturday, June 24, 2006

Entry #20

by César Puch

It was a blur.

Nothing ever was clear. Only the silhouette was real to her. It had been there when they brought her home, when they lay her down on the bed like a china doll. She’d thought it was odd, just standing there on top of the electricity post. She couldn’t tell for sure if it was a man, but it was there, every night.

She dreaded it at first. She wanted to shriek for its presence, but how could she? She would never utter a word again, of that she was sure. She could hear fine. A bad accident it had been. Maybe she should have died.

Maybe it was here to collect her.

As the time passed though, the figure never moved. Not once during all those years, one big blur for her, just a single day looping again and again. The lifting, the cleaning, the changing of the sheets. The feeding.

And it, perched on top of the post.

Eventually, her fear retreated. She needed it –him– up there. Her world was so small.

He was a big piece.

The last time she awoke, it wasn’t there anymore. She struggled to see better. So much rain outside. But it was gone, she was certain. .

And then the pain came, and she welcomed it, for she’d felt so little for so long, but it then overwhelmed her and she screamed and her screams pierced her mind, though were hardly heard in the house.

[César Puch lives in Lima, Peru where he studied multimedia development. He is currently working as art editor and layout designer for Surreal Magazine. He has also published a couple of horror stories under a pen name and has one featuring in the upcoming Shadow Regions anthology.]


For The Trees said...

Holy Cow!! This is truly great! The agony of being silent, and not by choice!

I wonder if the "man on the electric pole" was NOT gonna put her out of her misery...

Scott said...

I wonder if the man on the pole was death. Maybe she wanted him to come in.

Jerilyn Dufresne, author said...

Excellent imagery.

cesarcarlos said...

Thanks Jer, Scott and For The Trees for your comments. This is one of the parts I enjoy more when posting.

You can say this one is open for interpretation... death, a harbinger of something worse... or of something better. It' s always great to hear other POVs.

All the best.

Melly said...

Beautifully done, César!
It flowed with emotions and imagery. I almost felt myself as unable to speak...

Bhaswati said...

I agree with Melly. The physical suffering has been portrayed so vividly, you almost feel it. I loved the element of the unknown/supernatural as well. All the best, Cesar!

Jade L Blackwater said...

I really loved this one and the "inside looking out" elements of the story.

anna said...

Excellent yet subtle use of
terror. You dragged us right into
her head.

cesarcarlos said...

Thanks Melly, Bhaswati, JLB and Anna for your wonderful comments. It's comments like these which make me glad I participated.
All the best to you all!

Anthony Rapino said...

Very very nice. What can I say.

Anonymous said...

Cesar, very intriguing and unique!! A high scorer, especially in pacing, storytelling, and entertainment. I'm fascinated by the watcher.