Saturday, June 24, 2006

Entry #21

"I See the Light"
by Anthony J. Rapino

At first there is nothing.

Something pushes me, and I push back.

Then thought.

It forms in the dark like bits of illuminated dust floating past a window. I see each speck burst into being like electric awakening.

Against this glowing knowledge are my true surroundings: obscuring pitch compared to the bright dust. As the hallucination of light fades, my eyes refocus and begin to define objects moving against the sky.

They drift as the dust.

They catch light—though fainter—as the dust.

And I know they hold electricity.

On cue a humble buzzing enters my perception, as if an unknown child turned up the volume of a radio, the broadcast of which I do not comprehend.

Again things come clearer, and I see the silhouette of power lines. A voice says something from far away and I comply. I hand over the source of a burning, red light. Hair on my neck pricks up as female breath tickles my ear and a pungent scent tickles my nose. In the dark she conjures new electricity.

The joint is again in my hand, and I hit it.

I hold it.

I exhale, pushing.

I say, “At first there was nothing.”

“And now?”

The lines—far above my eyes, hidden in darkness—seem dead. Next to me power surges. I turn and squeeze close to the source.

“Now there’s life.”

We two nameless create as blackness pushes against us.

We push back.


Bhaswati said...

Very well done.

For The Trees said...

AH! Electrifying Pornography!!


Scott said...

Man, I gotta find a connection.

Melly said...

Oh, very well done!
Such imagery and such a finish.
Good stuff!

Anonymous said...

Delightfully evocative. The rhythm of the piece actually reminds me a bit of Shatner's piece "What Have You Done" on his Has Been album. Nice imagery.

bekbek said...

This is simply beautiful.

Anthony Rapino said...

Thanks to all for the comments, which is my favorite part of these contests. I love to hear what ppl think of all the pieces.

Thanks again.


Anonymous said...

I love this piece. It has beautiful imagery, clear, spare writing and ambiguity.

cesarcarlos said...

Very good writing. Well done.

Jade L Blackwater said...

This is a beautiful piece - very poetic.

Anonymous said...

I am a big fan of endings that stay with the reader, and "We push back" is now right up there in my top ten.

It made me re-evaluate what I had just read in the context of that poetic line, and got me re-reading the piece with that imagery in mind.

It was like a great cup of coffee after a fine meal.

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the honorable mention!

Seriously strong writing! Wonderful descriptions and pacing. Vivid sense of altered perception! Very high marks all around.