Saturday, August 26, 2006

Entry #48

In The Moonlight
by Jeff Neale

Water lapped against the side of the dock. Clouds drifted across the face of the moon casting light and shadow on the surface of the lake.

Katherine turned at the sound of Brent's footsteps approaching along the wooden planks.

"I thought you might be out here," he said. She gave him a weak smile taking the glass of wine he offered.

"Did you enjoy the picnic? You seemed kind of quiet."

"Brent, we need to talk," she said, softly. "I've been thinking about things since the accident. Today as I watched you playing in the water with your family, I made a decision. I'm giving you an out."


"No hard feelings. No regrets."

"Katherine, you think just because you are not able to . . ."

"Face it, Brent. I'm CRIPPLED! I'm only half a woman in this wheelchair." She threw her glass over the dock railing.

Before she could say another word, he picked her up and jumped into the water.

"Oh my God, Brent!"

"Shhhh! Just hold tight to me." He carefully wrapped her legs around his waist as she clung tightly to his neck. Turning in a slow circle he whispered, "Listen to me, the accident changed nothing. You are the only woman I love, and the only woman I will ever want."

"I love you so much," she said, eyes filling with tears.

"Enough to marry me?"

"More than enough."

Clouds parted, moonlight shining on a kiss that was long, passionate, and full of promises.


Joni said...

Oh Jeff, thank you so much for submitting this. This contest needed this entry. Beautiful. The emotion hit hard and fast.

Jaye Wells said...

Wonderful, Jeff. There's a lot here even given the short word count. Of course, I'm a sucker for happy endings.

Scott said...

Hey, no fair Jeff. You can't just march in here and have it end happy. Isn't he supposed to like let her drown or something? Or turn into a sea serpent and eat her? Man, there you had to go and get me all choked up.

anne frasier said...

nice, jeff!!

and a beautiful story. you are so good at balancing dialogue and narrative. you also have great character interaction for such a small word count.

very nice!

Anonymous said...

I'm all choked up, and don't know what to say. Good writing.

Marcail said...

Nice to have another perspective of moonlight-- a romantic setting.

writingblind said...

*Sniff* I love happy endings.

bekbek said...

Glad to see I'm not the only one to admit to getting choked up, reading this.

Thanks for the sweetness.

Anonymous said...

I like the way you got the whole story in so few words. That is good writing.

Flood said...

Very sweet, Jeff.

Anonymous said...

What I like is this: Shadows on the lake at the beginning that foreshadow tragdy, and then the use of the same lake to 'cleanse' the situation at the end. Nice!

Anonymous said...

Oh, I just love this. It is so romantic. What a guy!!! That's a real man for ya!

I agree with the above comment, the water represents a washing away of old feelings...and the bringing forth of a new life. (together) Excellent.

Anonymous said...

Oh, very nice. I agree - as much as I love the darker stories, this contest did need a more upbeat one. :)

Robert Ball said...

Nice suprise ending, I thought they would drown together.

Jeff said...

Thank you all for your kind comments. I appreciate each one. :)

Jerilyn Dufresne, author said...

Loved your story, Jeff. Fantastic, beautiful,and touching. Marry me? Jer

Anonymous said...

So sweet and nicely written. Jeff! =D

Terri said...

Aw Jeff you really need to write a book like this. The world need more stuff like this. You just melted my heart :)

Bhaswati said...

Robert Ball, you made me laugh. LOL

Jeff, this is such a heartwarming story. The characters are endearing and real. Thanks for sharing this :)

Anonymous said...

Full moon and romance. It doesn't get any better than this. Thanks for sharing, Jeff. It's beautiful

Jeff said...

Jer- Thanks :) I'm glad you enjoyed it. Are you proposing? lol

Kelly- Thank you. :)

Terri- That's so nice of you to say. Thanks :)

Bhaswati- You're welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

Sandra- You're welcome, and thank you. :)

Joni- You're welcome! Thank you for your kind words. :)

Jaye- Thanks, I'm a sucker for happy endings too. :)

Scott- Sorry, when I saw the photo romance filled my head. :)

Anne- Thanks! I'm flattered by your compliments. You made my day. :)

Robert R.- Thanks :)

Marcail- Thanks :)

Writing Blind- Me too, Rebecca. Thanks :)

Linda- Thanks, I appreciate the compliment. :)

Flood- Thanks :)

Nicholas- Very perceptive! Thank you for the compliment. :)

klgilbert- Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

Robert B.- LOL Thanks :)

Jim- Thanks, I saw a romantic setting all the way in this photo. :)

Kathleen said...

Absolutely beautiful.

Anonymous said...

I admit I was surprised by the ending as well. Uplifting, even to an old cynic like me.

Thanks for visiting my blog today and for your kind words.

Jeff said...

Kathleen- I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you. :)

Fringes- Old cynic? No way! I'm pleased you found the story uplifting. Thanks :)

Tangasaurus Rex said...

wow... that was wonderful... true romance and love. i loved that!

Jeff said...

Tang- I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for your kind compliment. :)

briliantdonkey said...

Hey Jeff,

EXCELLENT story! One of my favorites.


Jeff said...

BD- Thank you very much. :)
I really enjoyed your story too.

Bernita said...

Late, because Blogger wouldn't let me post at times.
Sorry, Jeff. Had a longer comment too.
So nice to see a positive story. I liked this very much.

Jeff said...

Bernita- Thanks :) It was the first, and actually the only solid idea that came to me when I saw the photo.
Your story was VERY good. :)

Anonymous said...

The scene of him jumping into the water and holding her was expertly done. Very emotional with great impact. High marks overall.