Saturday, April 22, 2006

Entry #5

"Two Lights"
by J P Agnew

There was always one light turned on at the summer cottage because he said that he knew I loved him but he couldn’t feel it in his soul.

He had not been very well the past couple of months but he knew it was time. We packed our things in the city and moved to the summer cottage.

I would lie next to him as he cried himself to sleep and I would hold his hand against my heart while he slept so he could feel me next to him. As I lay in bed the last night before he died I remembered the horrible day when the doctor told him he would not have much longer to live. The thought startled me and I woke abruptly and sat up in bed.

I turned to notice he was awake and holding out his hand for me to come closer. I lay back down next to him and this time he held my hand to his heart. He wanted me to feel his heart beating because it wasn’t his life that was stopping, but it was his soul excepting my love.

When I walked out of the bedroom into the hallway that night, I turned to the side table to turn off the light and noticed there were two lights on.

One for my love in his heart and the other for my love in his soul.


Bernita said...

Another nice use of light symbols.
Technically, a little confused by the sequence in the dreaming/thinking/waking bit.

Erik Ivan James said...

A sad, but gentle tale. Your ending is good use of the "two lights" theme.

Robin said...

I really enjoyed the story, very moving.

Jeff said...

I agree with Erik, I like your use of the two lights at the end. Good job. :)

Bhaswati said...

Nice use of the two lights as a metaphor in the end :)

sandra said...

How sad that it was only on his death bed that he realized how much he loved his wife. Nice.

Lyn said...

Ditto on the two lights metaphor - good job tying the opening line to the conclusion. Your sentences are nicely descriptive - a bit longish (a little run on?) but it works for your style. So I say keep at it! Lyndon (Entry #24)

beadinggalinMS said...

Good job bro! :)

jason evans said...

JP, really unique. Obviously poignant, but there's something more. A depth of reality. A quiet acceptance. High marks in storytelling.

Prashanth said...

Neatly done!
And with just 2 commas, heh.

Smooth flow and confident craft. Kudos.