Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Entry #2

"Possibilities"
by Jerilyn Dufresne


Her skin tingled. Was it the anticipation? Or was there real electricity in the air?

Nina smiled. It didn't matter. She loved the feeling, the knowing that something impossible would be possible tonight. She rubbed her arms, encouraging the tingling to increase.

Her purse sat on the hall table, by the two lamps that were always lit. She reached inside the carryall and found what she needed.

Aiden had said, "Meet me tonight on the road to nowhere." Again, Nina smiled. The road to nowhere was their name for the road leading out of town. No one ever left Midnight Station. People just stayed there, stuck in their own personal mire--jobs, family, tradition, history, as powerful an anchor as any that could be manufactured.

She walked out the door, purse over her shoulder, her hand clutched around the object she'd removed. "I can do this," she muttered.

The air was indeed electric and fueled her excitement. As she approached the meeting place she saw Aiden in the mist near an electric pole.

Nina ran to him and jumped into his arms. "We're leaving," he whispered, "and we're doing it now."

"We don't need to whisper." Nina took a deep breath and yelled, "We're leaving. And we're doing it now."

Neither of them saw the lightning that coursed through the pole into their still-joined bodies.

Nina's passport fluttered from her hand and burned into nothingness--a symbol of Nina and Aiden's unanticipated journey.


[Jer has a boring blog (with occasional flashes of adventure), and a MySpace page to announce her comedy gigs. Yeah, she's a grandma comedian. Wanna make something of it?]

34 comments:

Amra Pajalic said...

I like the ambiguity of the ending. Was this their journey or did the bolt of lightning make them cripsy critters?

Scott said...

I like the way you qualified for the Two Lights contest too. You are one meanie though, but they should have known better. The road lead to nowhere.

Jaye Wells said...

Yes, nice way to combine the two lights. I like the surprising end. Poor kids.

Jer said...

Hey, thanks you guys. I usually write comedy, and this weird stuff is actually fun for me. Jer

emeraldcite said...

Well done, Jer!

September said...

Interesting ending. I thought the "object" was a gun and that the couple was committing suicide together - leaving together and being together forever. I guess their ending was just as bad. Poor kids.

Flood said...

Was it the anticipation? Or was there real electricity in the air?

This line cracks me up, after reading it through once.

bekbek said...

I love when Nina yells. That's the moment that makes this story not a tragedy. She takes her freedom, not waiting to leave. She tastes it there, before leaving, claiming her right to it.

Very cool.

Jer said...

Thanks, everyone. I appreciate your comments.

Flood, please let me know what was funny about that line? Since I'm normally a comedic writer, it's funny to me that I did it inadvertently. Thanks. Jer

anne frasier said...

very nice, jer!!

Flood said...

The first time you read the story, not knowing what's going to happen, the line sets a tone.

The second read, knowing what's coming, the line spoke to me as a bit of black humour. The 'electricity in the air' has a double entendre. Excitement in a moment and foreshadowing of a *zap*

Jer said...

Thanks, Flood. That's exactly what I was going for. Appreciate it.

Jeff said...

Good job, Jer. :)

For The Trees said...

I got a real charge out of this.

Reminded me of "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost.

Searing imagery.

You write good, Jer.

Jer said...

For the Trees, you cracked me up. "Charge out of it."

Jer said...

Thanks, Jeff and Anne. Am waiting to see your respective entries. :)

Jim said...

Heh, I liked it. Felt like it might have been a bit resminiscent of Shymalan.

Jer said...

Well, if I have to be compared to someone, he's not too shabby. Thanks, Jim.

Anonymous said...

I'll never again rub a baloon against my head.

Loved the last paragraph.

John McAuley

Bhaswati said...

"We're leaving. And we're doing it now."

And the end that follows. Chilling. Compelling. Great job.

Jer said...

Thank you Bhaswati and John. You are both very kind. Jer

Melly said...

Good build-up. Nicely done!

Jer said...

Thanks, Melly.

cesarcarlos said...

Really well done. Nice touch at the end, totally unexpected.

Jer said...

That's what I was hoping for, cesar. Thanks.

desiderata said...

hi jer:

"... it's funny to me that I did it inadvertently." Commenting on your comment, an't fight the story! ~~ now I know for certain others encountered guests' inadvertently. Even some of my typos in Blogging have turned up Punnies.:)
BoneUs, eh?

Kelly Parra said...

Great one, Jer!

Jer said...

Thanks, Kelly and desiderata. I'm enjoying the comments, but absolutely devouring everyone's stories. Jer

JLB said...

This story gave me a huge smile at the end! Wonderful!

Jer said...

Hey, thanks. Appreciate your comment. Jer

k l gilbert said...

You made your characters so enthusiastic about leaving and being together that I sense they would prefer leaving this way to staying in the town. Wonderful "show" as opposed to tell. I enjoyed this, ... a lot!

Jer said...

Thanks so much, kl.

jason evans said...

Jer, strong pacing and storytelling here. I loved the line, "She rubbed her arms, encouraging the tingling to increase."

Jer said...

Thanks, Jason. I really appreciate your comments, and look forward to the next contest. Jer