Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Entry #3

"Blood Electric"
by Cavan Terrill

The hum is steady, insistent. It trickles down Eva's neck, her back, her legs. It has blotted out whatever signs of life were once present here.

She looks up at the power lines, majestic against the darkened sky. They are the landscape here, the sole structures on the flat, gray desert floor.

There are variations in the hum now. A pulse. A heartbeat. Eva stands next to one of the poles. She traces the arc of the lines, as they lazily descend, then pull themselves up to meet the next pole. She loses track, eventually, as the wires fade into the distance.

She places her hand against the smooth, warm steel of the pole. Feels the hum enter her, coming in surges. Like blood. She savors the moment.

Overhead, the clouds shift malevolently.

She feels it, inside her. Feels it exploring, searching. It stops moving suddenly, as it always does, and unfurls its tendrils, spreading across the void of her body. It is alive in her now, just like it was in the City.

It speaks to her.

And then, she knows. She knows that she will not see the City again, with its sleek metal columns and the wonderful, overwhelming pulse of electricity. The car that dropped her off here will not return. She does not belong there. She never has.

She will starve here. Her flesh will return to the land. The City has sacrificed her to the Earth.

The clouds, hungry, begin to spit acidic rain.


Jaye Wells said...

Your writing is very sensual. I'm intrigued about the end.

Jer said...

Ooh, I loved it. Well done.

emeraldcite said...

Very nice. Great descriptions.

forgottenmachine said...

Need I say anything more then that you made me wonder whether it's even worth submitting my entry?

Great imagery. There is something timeless about your words.

Flood said...

This is great. I was thinking metalic blue as I read this. I think the first and second parts could each stand alone as flash, too.

Jim said...

It's interesting how this photo has inspired a higher level of speculative fiction stories this time around already.

Cavan said...

Thanks for your comments, everybody. Brightens up my day.

Jaye - Sensual, huh? Well, I am always telling the ladies what a sensual guy I am.

Forgotten - So, that makes it timeless and sensual? Sweet. It's no reason not to submit, of course. :)

Flood - Most people get a metallic blue image when they're reading the stuff I write. Then again, that's because a lot of the descriptions I write has that very colour in it. I didn't actually write it this time around, so I guess the two of us must be on the same page.

Jim - True, but I will not that, since I'm a science fiction writer, I likely would've gone that route no matter what the picture was.

Unless it had've been a picture of John Travolta. Ever since Battlefield Earth, you just can't write a good piece of science fiction involving John Travolta anymore. It sucks because, you know, Travolta SF was a major subgenre.

Scott said...

Evocative. I want to know more about what lies inside.

Anonymous said...

Nice imagery; made think of Ripley from "Alien."

John McAuley

Melly said...

Very interesting, Cavan.
It just keeps the reader on a constant guessing. Watching the character and trying to comprehend.
Good stuff!

cesarcarlos said...

Nice descriptions.

"She traces the arc of the lines, as they lazily descend, then pull themselves up to meet the next pole."

I could actually see them in my head. Great visuals.

JLB said...

Beautiful sensations and emotions in this piece!

jason evans said...

Cavan, amazing piece! Strong, fresh perspectives and description, especially the wires in the distance. High marks in everything! Being in or out of the top 8 was just a judgment call on my part. You couldn't have done much better.