Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Entry #4

by C. Rooney

"It's blurry."

"Of course, it is, Jack. This cheap ass digital camera ain't worth shit. Don't worry about that. I can fix it with photoshop."

"Not when it's this blurry."

"Aw, shut it. Never mind the focus. Just tell me what you see."

"Wires. Clouds. A power pole." Jack hesitates. "Maybe you should take it again, Keith."

Keith wrenches the camera away.

"There," he points. "Look at that."

The LCD screen is smeared by his careless fingerprint. Clouds and vibrating electrical lines intersect. One arm a top the crooked pole penetrates the white patches ringed by the proverbial silver linings.

"You should get a tripod," Jack says. "Keeps the camera steady. That's what my photography professor told me."

"Just look at the goddamn picture," Keith snarls. "Is that too much to ask?"

Jack's brow furrows. "What am I looking for?"

Keith turns away, so he can be alone with the perverted pleasure of the preview, a pornography that's lost on his brother.

Jack used the camera last night to take pictures of their neighbor, Amanda Jensen, in nothing but her pink panties. Digital zoom providing six megapixels of schoolboy bliss. He could have put it on his myspace page, if Keith hadn't erased the memory card in preparation for tonight's adventure into power pole porn.

"Keith?" Jack asks.

"You're blind as you are ugly." Keith voice drips with disdain, as he turns off the camera and tucks it in his pocket. "We're done here. Let's go."


Flood said...

Who knew power lines could be such a turn on?

c.rooney said...

*laughs* I think the whole point might be people can find the oddest things arousing.

I have no idea, tbh, this is radically different from what I usually write.

Cavan said...

Ha! I like this one.

Shesawriter said...

I really, really, really liked this one. EXCELLENT use of dialgue to reveal character!

Scott said...

I like your use of dialog too. It flows easy and the story reads easily.

Jaye Wells said...

I love the brotherly interaction. This line was great:

"Digital zoom providing six megapixels of schoolboy bliss."

Melly said...

What a concept! :)
Flows very well.

cesarcarlos said...

Very good use of dialogue.

JLB said...

This was great - and I agree, the dialog was well implemented!

c.rooney said...

Thank you all for the encouraging comments!

Elisha Bridges said...

Your use of dialogue is outstanding, and drew me into the story immediately!!

Fran Piper said...

Like everyone else I loved the dialog. Dialog-driven stories are really hard to write (at least in my view) but you make it look easy.

Also, lots of points for originality!

jason evans said...

Perfect pacing. The mix of dialog and description were excellent. Unique idea and moment. High marks in everything!