Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Entry #11

The Turning Point
by Samuel Wright


As he rolled over in the sleeping bag, Ian looked up to see the full moon just beginning to rise between the hills. The odd pattern of clouds made for an interesting sight, and he thought briefly about waking Natalya, but decided not to. She never seemed the “outdoorsy” type, and he was extremely surprised when she agreed to go camping with him.

Their relationship wasn’t doing so well recently, and he had thought that she was going to breakup with him. Then he hit upon the idea of camping, sleeping under the stars like he did as a child. Natalya only hesitated an instant before her face lit up and she excitedly said yes.

They both worked nights - she was a nurse and he tended bar in a club - and so rarely saw each other after sunset. He thought that this was going to be real turning point for them.

Moving slowly so that he wouldn’t wake her, Ian curls his arm around her, cupping a soft breast in his palm. Hmmm, Maybe I could wake her.

“Natty?” Quietly breathing in her ear he tries to gently wake her, “Baby, how about a kiss?”

He felt her take his hand in hers, peeling his fingers from her chest and holding them straight. It took a moment for his brain to register the prick of the needle under his fingernail. “Ouch! What the hell was that?”

“Just sleep now, lover-boy, and don’t touch me ever again.”

18 comments:

linda said...

I love reading these stories. You cant get enough.

Joni said...

Ha - It's funny because there's so much truth there. Nice one.

Bonnie Cehovet said...

Very gripping story! However, it tends to lose itself at the end.

anne frasier said...

woo-hoo!! l laughed out loud -- but maybe that's just because i'm female. i have to wonder if gender makes for a different reaction! nicely done.

robert rohloff said...

Good read

Jaye Wells said...

Poor Ian. Nice job!

Jim said...

Anne, it might. I honestly couldn't understand why she would have excitedly agreed to camp out with him and then react the way she did. Must be just my poor male brain...

Bernita said...

Seems to me if she intended to off him, she wouldn't choose this time.

September said...

oh my. poor guy. Seems like breaking up with him would have been more civilized than injecting him with something and leaving him out there to die.

fringes said...

Note to self: keep dating engineers and cute day traders. Stay away from those with access to hypodermic needles. Yikes!

Scott said...

Wow, he must have been a real bastard to deserve such a grisly demise. Loved the ending. Not nearly what I expected.

anna said...

Ouch! Love these twisty stories!
totally unexpected ending

k lawson gilbert said...

What ever happened to "not tonight dear, I have a headache." I know...too mundane, and way too boring for an ending.

You are right...your way is better.
;D

Jude said...

Sam, a bit of a twist there! How conniving. I'm glad you enetered.

Bhaswati said...

Ouch, indeed! What a twist to end the story. Did give me a bit of a jolt all right. :P

Sam said...

Thanks everyone for your comments. I love throwing twists at the end - maybe I watched too much Twilight Zone as a kid!

The woman reacted so well to the invite becasue she knew it was her chance to be rid of him. Why? Well, I think I'll have to expand on the 250 words and make it more detailed sometime. Sorry if I didn't make things very clear, but I really appreciate the input - only way to learn!

Amin said...

That sent a shiver up my spine!

I'm glad I'm not still in the dating game!

jason evans said...

Well, he was a might bit fresh. Sleep tight, indeed!