Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Entry #16

Macho-Man
by Anna Hood


When the moon was dark he'd watch the house.

But not alone. The Voice was there, singing his theme song, "Macho Macho-Man, you need to be a Macho-man."

Frannie, the chosen one, lived in that house.

Macho-Man knew her every move: Knew she wore black panties, that she liked Colgate toothpaste, that her favourite colour was green.

He knew her brand of tampons.

Mornings he'd watch her leave, then glide inside, the song pounding, pounding. Macho-Man.

He'd touch her things, her soiled panties. Sometimes he'd put them in his mouth. Then he'd remove his clothes, get into her bed, the essence of him hissing onto her sheets.

The Voice, whispering, "Soon Macho. Soon."

Saturday night: Macho was watching when The Voice spoke. "Now."

Macho-Man slithered inside, sniffing, taking Frannie's spoor inside his mouth, rolling it around his tongue while he removed his clothes. His shadow, naked and grinning, cavorting to his music.

He paused now and then to strike a pose. Macho-Man! Photographs with paper teeth smiled inside paper lips, showed their approval as he slid into her darkened room.

He waited 'til her eyes opened, 'til she saw him, holding his silver lipped knife.

Watched her eyes as he poked with his sharp tip.

Watched his reflection in her eyes.

Then: Harder! Harder! Twisting! Slashing! Stabbing!

Her body a thousand fountains. Scarlet on his face. Scarlet on his tongue.

And when the fountains ceased spraying, ceased bubbling, he raised two terrible arms into the air.

Strike a pose Macho-Man.

24 comments:

Jim said...

It is deeply disturbing to get inside the mind of a psycopath.

Linda Fort-Bolton said...

Close your blinds,you never know who might be watching. I liked this.

Scott said...

Great, now I'll have to delete all the Villiage People songs from my iTunes library. Thanks!

robert rohloff said...

I like a man who knows how to flex his muscles! (sick) Good read!

aleah said...

This makes my skin crawl. Good terror tale.

Jack said...

Yikes, all you are missing is fluttering moths and skin suits.

Jack

Bonnie Cehovet said...

Quite disturbing - which must mean that it is quite well written! :)

anne frasier said...

anna,

fantastic!

so many great lines. i loved this one: "the essence of him hissing onto her sheets." great writing.


scott: LOL!

Shadowrite said...

This was an unbelievable piece of writing! What a commentary on the old adage: "Show don't tell" as the reader gets into the head of a truly psychotic mind. That ending scene had me breathless in a horrified way.

k lawson gilbert said...

crap! Of all times to be home all alone in this big old farmhouse in the deep woods.......

Your story is disturbing. Good job.

Joni said...

My stomach is actually churning. I can't help but applaud you on this one, though somewhere down deep that seems counterintuitive. (Why should I congratulate you on terrifying me?) Very striking. Kudos.

Nancy R. Callahan said...

Both fun and macabre at the same time -- I really liked this one. :)

Dafath said...

Her face a thousand fountains. Scarlet...

hah, wonderful

RichMcD said...

Anna banana. You creeped me out. Terrific graphic touches. Good to be responding to one of your stories again.

Writing Blind said...

Totally. Creeped. Me. Out. Very well done.

Lisa said...

Terrifying yet disgusting the way his mind works. The panties....ewww. Very well written.

fringes said...

I like the final line very much. It's like the beginning of a whole 'nother story.

Bhaswati said...

Her body a thousand fountains. Scarlet on his face. Scarlet on his tongue.

You sure know how to shake the reader up. This was so unsettling, precisely because your words brought this guy to life with such horrific authenticity. Ouch!

Flood said...

Terrifying and wonderful.

Nicholas Abbot said...

That last image is great. I can even see his dripping moustache...

anne said...

I don't disturb easily, but you just did it.
Wow.

anna said...

Thanks everybody who took the time to read, especially you guys
who left a comment. Everybody loves comments (g)
Jason, you da man!! thank you
so much for these contests.

Fran Piper said...

ick. eeww. nightmare. You've got it all here. Well done!

jason evans said...

So very brave to dive into the mind of a psychopath without reservation. Absolutely terrifying. And perfect. Highest marks overall.