Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Entry #15

The Meek Inherit
by Aleah Sato

Kim and Jennifer continued to wait. They had spent the night waiting. Kim was patient; Jennifer, the youngest, was always anxious. This was just like Grandmother to leave them out here, Jennifer thought. She rifled through her knapsack for a brownie, ignoring Kim's gaze. Kim was a lot like Grandmother with those choking black eyes and that gaze.

"Kim…do you suppose Grandmother is leaving us out here to test us somehow?"

Kim sat there for a moment, still transfixed on her thoughts, and then replied.

"No."

From the horizon, a figure formed. Crickets and other nightlife cleared a path where the night had evaporated and Grandmother stood before them. Looking at Jennifer and Kim, she turned her head to see a white-tailed deer moving out of the wooded lot and heading up to Stony Creek.

"It’s about time! We nearly froze last night," shouted Jennifer.

"Be quiet, Jennifer," Kim said with seriousness. Her voice matched her gaze going back to Grandmother, who, after surveying her surroundings, finally spoke.

"I'm going to show you something you’re both old enough to see now. When I die, you must take care of this…”

Without saying anything more, Grandmother began digging her fingers into the ground, stopping every now and then to catch her breath and check on the girls who were silent. The only noise between the sounds of crippled fingers scraping dirt was the drops of water sliding off of leaves, sliding to the earth.


[Aleah Sato is a freelance writer and co-owner of Ricksticks Inc, a visual communications firm in Toronto. She is the author of the recently released Badlands, a collection of poems exploring the secrets women keep. Her work has appeared in Nthposition, Women Writers, Wicked Alice, Blue Fifth Review and Eclectica. She can be reached at aleah@ricksticks.com or through her blog, Jane Crow Journal.]

19 comments:

linda said...

250 words keeps you hanging and wanting more. We have Jason to blame for that.
Very interesting.

Bonnie Cehovet said...

I want to read more too! Definite "ancient voices" feel here!

Joni said...

Very nice! I love the feel of this. So many questions, though!

anne frasier said...

i loved this:

"Grandmother began digging her fingers into the ground, stopping every now and then to catch her breath and check on the girls who were silent. The only noise between the sounds of crippled fingers scraping dirt was the drops of water sliding off of leaves, sliding to the earth."

very nice!

robert rohloff said...

Aleah, can I have some more please! (with wide eyes, and bated breath)

Bernita said...

Frustrating hints.
Not enough.

Jim said...

What does a novel-length story crammed into 250 words look like? So much more story here that cries out to be told. Just enough to whet our appetites...

Flood said...

The title really helped me feel the message here.

aleah said...

Thanks for the comments everyone. Bernita, I am glad you feel frustrated - that's what I was going for (simpatico with Jennifer's frustration).

fringes said...

The title helped me to pull it together as well. I wonder what she was digging up. Hope it wasn't poor Grandfather.

September said...

You got me. What was she trying to show them? I liked this. I want more.

Scott said...

Ok, now I'm angry. I need to know what grandma is digging up!

anna said...

Goodness. I am in a state here trying to figure out what Grannie's digging up.
You sure set that hook!
good read

k lawson gilbert said...

It's unanimous...I want more, too.
Good writing. Interesting.

Bhaswati said...

Unanimous, no doubt. What happens next? Do tell!

Very absorbing read.

bekbek said...

I'm glad of the word limit. If you'd had more words, you would have got to the part where she pulls up the really big jar of kimchee, and then I would have been laughing too hard to read the other stories.

All of a sudden I'm hungry for something spicy...

But in all seriousness, this is really nice. There's an air of... practical mystery. I like it.

aleah said...

Bekbek,

Hah. Now I wish I had thought of that!

Thanks for the great feedback everyone. There are too many great shorts here. I am flattered that you took the time to comment on mine.

Cheers!

Nicholas Abbot said...

Excellent writing.

jason evans said...

The interraction of the girls rang true. I could feel the dirt in my hands. Good marks overall.