Stomach Pains
by Liza Ziadeh
Jim lowered the rear view mirror and looked at his baby brother, Bob, laying in the backseat of the car, grunting and groaning. “I told you that you shouldn’t have eaten that hamburger. It smelled like crap.” He grinned.
“Shut up!” Bob roared painfully. “Keep your eyes on the road, and get me home.”
Jim shook his head. “See those black clouds and moon in the sky. Those clouds are the foul hamburger in your stomach, and the moon is what your anus is going to look like once the runs start.”
Suddenly, there was a bad smell in the car.
Jim smiled, and patiently rolled down the window.
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Get the winners of the first 12 Clarity of Night contests in one place! Extras too!!
Listening for the words in a quiet corner of the night. The fiction, poetry, and photography of Jason Evans.
About Me
- Aine
- Collaborator and night owl.
Past Contests
- "Elemental" Short Fiction Contest
- "Uncovered" Short Fiction Contest
- "Silhouette" Short Fiction Contest
- "In Vino Veritas" Short Fiction Contest
- "Ascension" Short Fiction Contest
- "Running Wind" Short Fiction Contest
- "Whispers" Short Fiction Contest
- "Restless Dawn" Short Fiction Contest
- "Halo" Short Fiction Contest
- "Endless Hour" Short Fiction Contest
- "Silent Grey" Short Fiction Contest
- "Lonely Moon" Short Fiction Contest (with Anne Frasier)
- "Midnight Road" Short Fiction Contest
- "Two Lights" Short Fiction Contest
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15 comments:
...and looked at his baby brother...
This line interrupted the flow for me for a moment because I pictured two small children. Also, for two such juvenile personalities, the analogy seemed very out of place.
Wow, I didn't expect the word anus anywhere in this contest. I almost spit out my drink at this one. But I liked it.
Oh Liza - You had to play into my embarrassing love for potty humor. Thanks for the laugh.
peeuewww
I can smell baby brother all the
way up here in Canada
great fun! good start to my day
New twist to family dynamics! ;-)
Thanks for the laugh. I needed it. Jer
HOLY CRAP! Short, but colorful.
Oh me oh my! I assume that the car belongs to the younger brother, not Jim?
holy crap is right! :D
Really a hoot!
My "baby" brother is 40 something.I think Bonnie is right. This was a very "vivid", detailed descriptive picture of the moon I laughed and thenk I laughed again.
So much said in so few words.
Nice little scatological tale there. :P
Liza, I love the amount of torment the older brother tries to inflict on the younger one. So true to life, if my family are anything to go by.
And the anus and runs thing: very descriptive, even if a little cringeworthy!
I don't have a baby brother but if I did, I'm quite sure Bob would be him.
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