Thursday, August 24, 2006

Entry #24

Stomach Pains
by Liza Ziadeh


Jim lowered the rear view mirror and looked at his baby brother, Bob, laying in the backseat of the car, grunting and groaning. “I told you that you shouldn’t have eaten that hamburger. It smelled like crap.” He grinned.

“Shut up!” Bob roared painfully. “Keep your eyes on the road, and get me home.”

Jim shook his head. “See those black clouds and moon in the sky. Those clouds are the foul hamburger in your stomach, and the moon is what your anus is going to look like once the runs start.”

Suddenly, there was a bad smell in the car.

Jim smiled, and patiently rolled down the window.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

...and looked at his baby brother...

This line interrupted the flow for me for a moment because I pictured two small children. Also, for two such juvenile personalities, the analogy seemed very out of place.

Jaye Wells said...

Wow, I didn't expect the word anus anywhere in this contest. I almost spit out my drink at this one. But I liked it.

Joni said...

Oh Liza - You had to play into my embarrassing love for potty humor. Thanks for the laugh.

anna said...

peeuewww
I can smell baby brother all the
way up here in Canada
great fun! good start to my day

Anonymous said...

New twist to family dynamics! ;-)

Jerilyn Dufresne, author said...

Thanks for the laugh. I needed it. Jer

Anonymous said...

HOLY CRAP! Short, but colorful.

Robert Ball said...

Oh me oh my! I assume that the car belongs to the younger brother, not Jim?

Anonymous said...

holy crap is right! :D

Bernita said...

Really a hoot!

Anonymous said...

My "baby" brother is 40 something.I think Bonnie is right. This was a very "vivid", detailed descriptive picture of the moon I laughed and thenk I laughed again.

Anonymous said...

So much said in so few words.

Bhaswati said...

Nice little scatological tale there. :P

Anonymous said...

Liza, I love the amount of torment the older brother tries to inflict on the younger one. So true to life, if my family are anything to go by.

And the anus and runs thing: very descriptive, even if a little cringeworthy!

Anonymous said...

I don't have a baby brother but if I did, I'm quite sure Bob would be him.