Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Entry #4

Twins
by Rus Morgan


Clouds enshroud the moon and I hear the bottom door creep open -- then the liquid motion of something slithering up the stairs.

The top step shimmers. I point my pistol blindly and pump the trigger until the weapon will ejaculate no more.

I shove the great, curved claws off with a shudder. I recoil in horror as the rest of the apparition materializes.

First a loathsome animal--than, as the life seeps out--the angelic face of my twin brother lies before me.

I wonder how long before I begin to turn?


[Rus Morgan has written six novels, numerous short stories. He has been published in FMAM, MystericalE, Hands On Electronics, Sooner's Ezine, Long Story Short and Apollo's Lyre. He is the author/creator of the Dr. Tobias Talmo mystery series. Rus lives and works in Memphis. He is currently pedalling his sixth novel and writing short stories.]

20 comments:

Joni said...

Gutwrenching in so few words. Excellent.

Bernita said...

Well done.
~grumpy~
Really, do the rest of us have to compete with pros?

Jim said...

A werewolf? Or something else with claws that slithers? Most intriguing...

Bernita, it just ups the ante and drives the rest of us to perform better. ;-)

Bonnie Cehovet said...

Well, a werewolf slinks, but seldom slithers! I do like the connection to the duality of ourselves - the "twin" concept.

Very nice ending - too scary, too real! :)

jason evans said...

Note from your host: This contest is for all writers. I am not recognizing any distinctions. Besides, such a short word limit creates a level playing field.

Flood said...

Rus, you got a lot in here in such a few words. Great economy.

anne frasier said...

very nice, rus! loved the way you went from scaring the crap out of us to the powerful, sorrowful ending -- in such a small space. good job!

one thing... the word ejaculate did take me out of the story for a fraction of a second. :D ;) sorry!! maybe it's just me. carry on...

Jer said...

Loved it. I want more.

anna said...

Not a wasted word. The hook was set and you dragged me in.
Enjoyed!

Linda said...

Did he catch his girl and his twin brother together? You can go a lot of ways with this one. Very good.

robert rohloff said...

Short and sweet, yet sinister and bitter!

Scott said...

I'm impressed that you didn't push the limit on word count. The story got right to the point and delivered. I have to agree on the word ejaculate. It's like seeing William Shatner in a movie not called Star Trek if you take my meaning.

aleah said...

Love the fact that this is so tightly written. I agree w/ Anne about the word ejaculate, though. It seemed out of place. Overall, loved it!!

Tami said...

Yeah, I got a little off track with ejaculate like a few other people, but overall great use of words. It was short and to the point. Great job.

k lawson gilbert said...

muti-layered methinks. good read.

Bhaswati said...

Short, compelling, complete. Very nice!

bekbek said...

I love how few words you've used to plant an epic struggle in my brain. Too cool.

I did wonder about your bio. Are you peddling by bicycle?!

Nicholas Abbot said...

...the great, curved claws..."

That simple, horrifying, exactly right description would make H.P. Lovecraft proud.

sandra seamans said...

You certainly know how to set the mood, Rus. Chilling and wonderful!

jason evans said...

A chilling conclusion! I'm wondering too!