Saturday, August 26, 2006

Entry #40

Sober Moons
by Alcoholic Poet


She looked and saw the sky scarred with clouds. She was leaving home in an effort to find it. Wheels couldn't take her there. Only footsteps could negotiate the path she had in her head. Of leaving without being gone. Touch without skin. Truth without exception.

She didn't want to die. Not then. But she did want to die. Some time soon. Under a sky as dark and as bright as this one.

As broken.

Or at least pretending to be.

Until the next storm.

She thought as she examined every crack in the clouds, someday my secret will be told, by the the thickest branch on the nearest tree.

Someday I will make myself small enough to spill through those holes that are always there in the sky when I look up.

She opened up her cellphone. The backlight reminded her of sex. The low murmur of that electricity usually dormant thoughtlessly coming alive from beneath her skin.

For her to see what buttons to press.

The ocean was loud at the back of her neck. Her yellow bike breathed quietly against the saline wind. People passed. So many people. And she noticed how they didn't notice her. Imagining herself sinking into the wall she sat upon; becoming as red as it.

Concrete.

Something soft left alone long enough to become hard.

She tapped in each number one at a time rather than using the memory function. Imagining she was karmicly whispering in his ear.


Pick up.

20 comments:

Joni said...

Wow, this speaks with so much energy. The flow is beautiful. Great job, Poet.

k lawson gilbert said...

Interesting character study. I like the beginning..leaving home in an effort to find it. Deep thoughts throughout. Enjoyed it!

Nicholas Abbot said...

"Something soft left alone long enough to become hard."

Good image of pain and abandonment.

anne frasier said...

yep, this is going to be tough!

loved this, poet. fantastic.

so many wonderful lines.

" Her yellow bike breathed quietly against the saline wind. People passed. So many people. And she noticed how they didn't notice her. Imagining herself sinking into the wall she sat upon; becoming as red as it."

i also really liked the line nicholas pointed out.
good stuff!



wow.

Robert Ball said...

Nice flow and expression. If especially like:

"Only footsteps could negotiate the path she had in her head. Of leaving without being gone."

anna said...

I can tell you're a poet, poet.
This is wonderfully lyrical.
melancholy.
Enjoyed lots!!

Shadowrite said...

Very poignant and your sentences are music.

alcoholic poet said...

thanx everyone. thanx very much.

i know i'm not a story teller really. but i enjoyed reading the entires from previous contests so much that i wanted to be spend a little time in this wonderful little community of yours.

linda said...

There is now and there is then. I really liked this.
I have to agree that this is a "wonderful little community."
Everyone seems to enjoy the comments as much as the stories.

robert rohloff said...

Alcoholic Poet, you are a poet, and I think you know it. Drunk on words, smashed on sights, sounds, and feelings. Wonderful story.

Jim said...

I loved the poetry of this.

Anna said...

Poet,
This is a great story. So sad. When I read the line "...someday my secret will be told, by the thickest branch on the nearest tree" I wondered what her secret was. You definitely have talent.

Bhaswati said...

The protagonist's pain is bursting out with each word in this piece. It's powerful, vivid, sad. Excellently written, poet. :)

Flood said...

She tapped in each number one at a time rather than using the memory function. Imagining she was karmicly whispering in his ear.

Wonderful and true. I've done this very thing and you've captured that moment perfectly.

Bofire said...

Sober Moons by Alcoholic Poet. That alone should win a prize.
"the sky scarred with clouds"- the opening line doesn't get any better than this. great writing.

angel said...

incredible imagery!

Bernita said...

It's rich.
You captured the paradox.

Saaleha said...

fluid, lyrical, lovely

Suzanne Smith Karg said...

Congratulations on your well-deserved win!

jason evans said...

This is very, very impressive. What wonderful observations and metaphors. Truly outstanding! I also appreciated the complexity of the character. High marks overall.

Congratulations on the Honorable Mention!