Sunday, August 27, 2006

Entry #52

The Journey to the End
by Anna Stitzel


Looking up at the sky, the woman sees the moon is still hidden. Good. The roaring of the ocean below sounds in the quiet of the night.

So lonely...so lost...like me. A single tear slips down her cheek. With a dirty hand, she swipes it away, smearing grime on her face. She then bends down and burdensomely picks up her satchel and on unsteady legs the woman again starts the trek to the cliff as thoughts bombard for her attention...

You’re a worthless piece of trash!

You don’t belong here, you don’t belong anywhere.

You’re not human, you’re nothing.


People and voices flood the woman and she shakes her head furiously to get rid of them. So much pain, so much she needs to extinguish...

With another furious shake, the woman continues walking with her left leg dragging behind her. With her right arm permanently tucked up against her bosom, her left arm clenches the satchel. Inside laid the solution. All she has to do is make it to the cliff before the moon appears. Then she will be able to release the affliction that has held her captive.

Suddenly, the night sky grows in brilliance.

“Nooooooo!” screams the woman. “You have to stay hidden! He said so!” Running as fast as her disfigured leg would allow, she races to the cliff.

Abruptly, the man with the warning steps into her path.

“So you came. You stupid fool.”

Then with horror, the woman watches as her worst nightmare comes true.


[Breanna (Anna for short) Stitzel is in college majoring in Communications in Drama and minoring in Missions at a small Christian college in Pa. She likes to write stories on the side and write in her blog (link above).]

14 comments:

Joni said...

Uhh..Uh... uh.. yes? and? Talk about a cliffhanger! ha.

You've got the buildup thing down. The possibilities are intriguing and frustrating.

Nice one.

Anonymous said...

Good job. Kept me hanging on, wanting more, more, and more with eyes strecthed and mind open

Anonymous said...

Anna, your blog is inspiring.
You really know how to draw out a character. I would be interested to read more about this one. good work.

Anonymous said...

Okay. *I'm* freaked out...

Anonymous said...

This contest is getting very intresting. This is one of my favorites.

Anonymous said...

Heh, it appears that the knack for writing frustrating cliffhangers runs in the family. Good job!

Anonymous said...

ah, how mysterious!! and there's a gothic feel to it that i really like. i do wonder what's in that satchel....

very nice, anna!

Anonymous said...

Mysterious and macabre! Good cliffhanger!

Scott said...

Awww! What happens next? Don't be stingy.

Flood said...

Anna, I hope you will expand on this (on blog?), because you've made so many of us crazy, wondering.

Marcail said...

No...o..o.. Don't stop. Tale interruptus.

Bhaswati said...

You captured the woman's desperation so well. I sure hope she remains safe. Nice work. :)

briliantdonkey said...

Nicely done anna,

If you wont tell us anything else yet dang it you GOTTA tell me whats in the satchel? c'mere you can tell just me ,,,,I kin keepa secret. Well done.

BD

Anonymous said...

So chilling. Preyed on using her burning wish. To leave the end open is even more disturbing.