Monday, August 28, 2006

Entry #71

The Last Kiss
by Anita Klein


Eric fluttered trembling fingers against Anneliese's cheek then wrapped a velvet curl of her hair around his index finger, inhaling the scent of her hair. The beeping and blinking of the machines surrounding her hospital bed added a harsh note to the tender moment. He could smell the soap in her freshly laundered hospital gown. He gently placed his forefinger against her bottom lip and watched as the skin slowly unfolded. Her face lit up by the lonely moon skittering by the window, he was transported back in time to the first time he kissed her.

The first time he and Anneliese made love they were laying on the mass of white feathers of his feather quilt. The Giovanni Bellini and the Joshua Reynolds hanging over his bed faded into insignificance as they lay on the mass of white feathers. The inside of her mouth had tasted sweet and soft like cotton candy.

He bent over the railing of Anneliese's hospital bed and pressed his lips to her forehead, his heart becoming heavy. He stood straight, nodded to the nurse and left the room.

12 comments:

anne frasier said...

aw, so sweet, tender, and sad.
nice job, anita!

Joni said...

Positively gorgeous writing. Your depiction of the various senses brought the scene alive. Tender, heartbreaking. Excellent.

nicholas abbot said...

I like the transition between the cotton candy image and the hard hospital bed railing.

A lot.

Scott said...

I loved your last line. Nodded to the nurse... Ouch. Double ouch.

Bhaswati said...

The details add such a charm to this piece. It's soft and delicate. Thanks for sharing. :)

Jim said...

Such a sad way to say goodbye...

klgilbert said...

so tender a story...loved it

Anita said...

Hi Everyone,
Thanks for all the kind comments. I'm glad this story spoke to all of you in some small measure.
Anita.

Robert Ball said...

True love's final kiss. Very tender, nicely done.

Nicky said...

So sad, so tender and what a gut-wrenching final line.

jason evans said...

Oh, that was hard. So hard I'm actually irritated. But that's a testiment to you. You accomplished what you set out to do. High marks overall.

Annie said...

Jason,I was hoping to hear this comment. I was trying to show Eric hardening his heart over Anneliese and I'n glad I was able to convey to this to the reader. Now, if only I could the piece I am working to gel. It's driving me crazy!
Take care,
Annie