Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Entry #44

The Danger of Words
By Atyllah

Shana stared at the wall. Something was scrawled on the faded paint – pale words…

“Unfold, come to us.”

She glanced at the people hurrying by, their faces pinched by the cold. She looked back to the wall. The words were gone, erased by a weak finger of sunlight.

She sagged momentarily then her breath quickened.

“The Queen is dead, long live our Queen.”

The sun strengthened. The words faded to nothing. Only the stark shadows of the cables remained.

Shana turned away. Something was calling her.

Drawing up her collar she pushed through the nameless walkers.

She reached the river and stared at its frozen surface. Below the ice a finger appeared. Her heart pounded.

“The future is your past, our Queen. Follow the path.”

Reality escaped her. She felt her soul soar. Wherever this path led, she wanted to go. The sun pierced the morning mists and touched her for one brief moment. The world spread out below her, an inky wash dappled by winter sunshine. She closed her eyes to it as words flowed around her, absorbing her.


Tucked away in the newspaper was a small article.

“The body found on Monday morning was that of Shana Connor. The circumstances surrounding Ms Connor’s death remain a mystery.”

Barry Jordan glanced up from his morning paper and stared at the grey wall in front of him. He thought he saw something scrawled in the grime.

“Do not unfold. You are not their King. I was not their Queen.”


Anonymous said...

These words stayed with me Atyllah - haunting.

Joni said...

Wow, this is really great. Forboding and enchanting. Very nice.

caveblogem said...

Mysterious and ensorcelling. I enjoyed it.

Jeff said...

Nice mysterious quality. Good job!

Anonymous said...

That crisp feeling to a plot that makes the story so easy to read & visualise.
Deliberately daunting too, in that haunting way.

Anonymous said...

Well said atyllah - a tight circling story! I like.

Anonymous said...

"Unfold, come to us."

Beautifully eerie.

Anonymous said...

Wow, this packs quite a punch. Well done!

Anonymous said...

Why thank you all for your kind words, I'm all aflutter.

Anonymous said...

LOVE this! spooky and beautiful!

Anonymous said...

::shivers:: wicked little twisted ending - loved it. very nicely done!!

Christian said...

I always wonder if there are messages before us all the time that we are too blind to read. Nicely conveyed.

Jim said...

Oh, wow. This may be my favorite yet! So much potential here for further expansion. This is a universe I think I'd like to see more of.

S. W. Vaughn said...

So creepy... so cool! Great job!

Anonymous said...

Great writing. It transported me to a different realm for a while. :)

Anonymous said...

Thanks everyone for the kind words - much appreciated.
Ironically, Jim, when I first wrote this, it wanted to go on and on. As it was, I edited it down from over 800 words.

Dafath said...

good job

jason evans said...

A strong sense of the metaphysical here. The mystery pulls at me and makes me want to know the truth.

High marks for pacing.