Monday, March 19, 2007

Crouching to Feel Snow

sun shadows
the motion
of morning trees
brown vines
poke through
brilliant snow

blur close
then slow deeper
the forest turns
like a circle
that never bends
peer deep
through the
eyes stinging
swallow the motion
and see the entirety
the flank of a deer

I walk there too
still belong
time has not
the respect
of a predator stare


billie said...

"the forest turns like a circle that never bends.."

Love this line - and the photo is so perfectly matched.

When I was leaving at 4-something the other morning to head to the horse trials, there was a herd of deer in our front field. The headlights caught them and they ran, but up the hill toward the house and beyond to the barn. That made me smile - I suspect they spend plenty of nights grazing with the horses.

Your poem makes me think of that - being in the dark night with deer just that close.

Susan Abraham said...

Dear Jason,
What a truly refreshing read!
The woods feel hushed, still & cool.
I feel on reading this that I'm swimming in a welcomed icy pool after a long trudge through the desert sand.
Thank you for this bit of genius. :-)

Anonymous said...


apprentice said...

Great match of poem and picture

KG said...

I can still feel the snow resting on my eyelashes from reading your poem.

The flowing, falling words, paired with your adept photographic capture of nature, is very powerful.

kcterrilynn said...

After the horrid winter Denver had I didn't think I'd long for snow for quite a while...but you managed to make me miss it, if only for a minute. Great stuff...

Terri said...

The blink, blink, blink of light and shadows rushing by as I drive along always makes me a little woozy, like a noise in my head, yet I can't look away because I want to see what's out there. Now I know - it's a deer. Next time I'll close my eyes.

ps thx for keeping my place, I needed it today :)

beadinggalinMS said...

thank you for your beautiful words today!!

mermaid said...

You see that deer inside a similar forest a thousand years ago. You stand inside the body of a man who's soul is now the heart of one of those trees.

Blink.blink.blink. Each blink marks the passage of time. You have captured the endurance of all things despite this passage.

kathie said...

Hey Jason, you're a beautiful poet. This poem hits the spot, bring the beauty back to the dirty, slushy Pittsburgh snow. Thanks

Anonymous said...

**Sorry I haven't responded to comments yet! It's midnight, and I just finished my major revision to The Backwards Path. Woohoo!!! (God, I'm glad that's done.) Anyway, I'll respond to everyone in the morning. Thanks. :)

Susan Abraham said...

Congrats for that, Jason.:-)
What happens now?

S. W. Vaughn said...

Thanks, now I'm cold... :)

LOL - this is beautiful, Jason. Even to someone who right now never wants to see another blasted snowflake again.

Anonymous said...

Billie, I've seen deer mix in with horses. It's almost like a secret world at night. Meetings that we never know about.

Susan, I often stare into the forest when speeding by in the train or steal a glance when driving. I'm glad I managed to capture and share a few of the thoughts that wander in my mind.

Kate, :)

Apprentice, thanks!

KG, snowflakes on eyelashes...such a great image! Yes, there is something extra that comes with pairing writing with images. I feel like the sum is greater than the parts.

KC, I'm ready for it melt off, believe me. :)

Terri, that's awesome! By repeating those words, I hoped to evoked that kind of weird pain those shadows cause. **Glad I could help you a little yesterday.

Beady, my pleasure. =)

Mermaid, wonderful words. Yes, it's that connection I feel. The presence never truly lost.

Kathie, I grew up in Johnstown not too far away! Oh boy, do I know about that ugly, gritty snow. Thanks for stopping by and the kind words!

Susan, this revision was very painful, because a large portion of the book was written before blogging, and this blog has been the single most important thing in my development as a writer. As a result, the revision was actually about 3/4 total rewrite, and it took many months. Now, I'm going to do a more normal revision pass through with adjustments and polishing. After that, it's going out to a few readers for reactions, then off to query agents.

Sonya, sorry! Have a cup of hot chocolate. After 12+ feet of snow, you're probably suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome!

Wilf said...

THis poem made me envious - I love snow.

klgilbert said...

The photo & poem remind me of a beautiful tiger running through a Siberian forest. Exhilarating!

Anonymous said...

Wilf, we didn't have much this year, but winter got the last laugh with this particular dose.

Kaye, so intriguing! For me, the motion was all in the observer with the forest resting in stillness, but now that you mention it, the sense of motion can penetrate too.