The Fever

(Thanks for cheering me up during my conference! It really helped me get through Wednesday. Here are my musings from the second day.)

There's a guy sitting in the front row. He's probably not old enough to be as gray as he is. Every nerve in his body is tuned forward. While others listen (or read the paper or sleep), he scribbles. A lot. (Well, I'm scribbling right now too, but lets not count that, okay?) He nods as if he's in a personal conversation with the speaker. He's so fascinated and enthused, his thoughts are physically pouring out.

Want to know something? I used to work with that guy about 12 years ago.

Well, more specifically, he worked under me, and because of the age difference, it was a bit hilarious. I was a freshly minted and licensed lawyer, and he was a student in a health law masters program. (Don't get me started on that. Tax law is pretty much the only legal discipline which warrants a graduate law degree. Maybe not even that.) I had been at the firm a couple years as a law clerk, and the big boss trusted me and put me in charge of the project.

With all this guy's fever and the uber education, he should be a super lawyer, right?? He lives and breathes the stuff. Look! He practically shakes with it! (To be honest, he literally shakes with it.)

Super lawyer? Not so much. In fact, he kind of sucks. Sorry.

Why? What's the problem? He can't listen. He can't hear people and give them what they need. He can't even see the person in front of him, I think.

Instead, he gives them what he thinks they need. His churning, churning brain has room for nothing else.

I'm a respected lawyer, but you can probably guess that I don't live and breathe the law. (Try to hide your shock. Please.) I'll never be a huge star in the legal field, because I refuse to sacrifice myself on that alter. I would have no other life. I would crumble away.

Yet, part of me is like him. Part of me is gripped by a fever. Can you tell?

When you talk to me, you have my complete attention. I want to hear your thoughts. I want to understand what drives you and shapes you. And at the same time, I will freely share in return.

It's the desire for that connection which burns in me. Not case law or statutes or regulations. It's the hidden light deep in humanity.

For me, writing is one of the few places minds can really intertwine, and the fever to do it is not something I intend to cure.

Thanks for taking the journey with me.