Monday, April 23, 2007

Entry #24

The Mind Games
by Navatha Rakeesh


The A-Class 170 swirled through to the end of the motorway and set-off towards the beautiful and picturesque little village of Ambleside. The views were breathtaking; the mountains rose and fell not so far away; greenery spread across to the horizons; sheep appeared as cute woolly buttons stuck to the grass; the curves and bends of the B-road were playing hide & seek with the nature's beautiful aura. Lake Windermere was shimmering with glow, inviting the young couple with open arms. A surprising number of pedestrians flooded the pavements. Little girls adorned with angelic smiles and colorful dresses seemed like butterflies in disguise. In fact, it appeared as though, nature's beauty brought-forth the best in everyone.

Conversely, Sheetal gasped, she leaned back into the passenger seat and closed her eyes. She could not believe herself; she had an unfortunate curse, which would not let her enjoy this un-ending beauty. How she wished, he had understood her better. As the same dirty picture flashed in front of her again and again, she flinched. Her mind played the devil with her and tortured her to death.

She insisted, she would finish the dirty pile of dishes, before they started off this morning. Poor Atul had only intended to miss the rush-hour traffic. If only, he knew his wife's compulsion for cleaning-up; he would have preferred getting stuck in the traffic, for a couple of hours, than to foil a beautiful weekend at the lakes.

11 comments:

Scott said...

Original and provacative imagery. This gets said a lot, but you really do this nicely. Here's my favorite: sheep appeared as cute woolly buttons stuck to the grass

Nice.

Jaye Wells said...

You have a wonderful knack for description.

Joni said...

Truly, a gift for description.
A favorite so far.

suzanabrams said...

I like the swift change of what was a picturesque scene from light to a slight foreboding darkness.

Jezzi Stewart said...

Not black exactly, but sort of grayly comic. I liked it.

Beth said...

Grayly comic, what a perfect description.

I have a problem with the word "conversely." Sounds strange at the beginning of the paragraph and the sentence.

Verilion said...

That first descriptive paragraph was beautiful and then I was wondering: where is this going? So few words left! But the characters spoke volumes. Great piece Navatha.

briliantdonkey said...

I would tend to agree with others. EXCELLENT descriptions. I particularly like "the curves and bends of the B-road were playing hide & seek with the nature's beautiful aura."

nice work

BD

DonnaG said...

The first paragraph set up a lovely scene. And then, with "Conversely ..." I became horribly confused. I really have no idea what's going on in this story. Is this an illicit weekend? Who's Atul? Her lover or her boss or her husband? Sorry, author, but there's not enough information in here.

Nothingman said...

Another reason to hate clean dishes for atul ;)

N

jason evans said...

I was really struck by the end and its impact. Such a powerful, real sentiment. We bear all sorts of burdens.