Rhudha-an’s Task
by Apprentice
The clearing’s just where the village elder said it would be.
Light streams into the forest from a rent in the canopy, like a cleft in the roof of a submerged cave.
The glade is the only golden spot in a land of shadow-play.
She gently puts down the package of five seedlings, their roots careful bound in the finest skins and bark.
She’s a tall child of thirteen, with long red hair and skin as pale as thistle-down. They chose her, from all the settlement’s girls, because her lovely locks exactly match the colours of rowan when the year starts to fail.
She knows what to do, the glade must cleared of all fallen debris, which must be burnt, and the cooled embers and ash spread all around. Only then can she use her sharp digging stick, cut from the mother tree, to make slits in the deep loam and plant the five precious saplings. They must be in a circle, exactly thirty one paces apart, and she must chant all the while, “Oh rowan tree, rowan tree give your strength to me.”
Then briars and holly must be cut and gathered to protect the seedlings from deer.
From this day forward she will tend and protect them until they rise up into the sunlight bearing their beautiful and bloody fruit.
Then her blood will flow and she will dance over to the other world.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
26 comments:
I love your description of the clearing. Very beautiful language.
I like how the word use and description of events matches the theme and the vents themselves. It's like a mystic story of a long forgotten tribe.
My friend is always trying to get me to attempt fantasy, she a published writer. So I thought I'd try, the word count here was just right, any longer and it would have felt a bit daunting.
I agree with the others. You've got a real talent for description.
Not a huge fan of fantasy, but i did like this.
Really lovely - your friend is right, you have the right touch for fantasy.
Thank you all for the kind words.
I look forward to showing it to Debbie to see her reaction.
I wrote a haiban recently about a similar place and that was a good exercise in using poetic language to capture the spirit of a place.
You have a knack for adding visuals to the flow without being abrupt, making for a very enjoyable read.
I agree with Victor and your friend. Particularly loved the very end.
Thank you Katherine and Beth, I appreciate you both taking the time to read and comment on my contribution.
Lovely descriptive writing - and nicely evocative too.
This has a nice narrative flow. Imaginative. Good job.
Thank you both.
wow, i want to know more!
Yes maybe I could invent a world lol! Enjoyed yours too Angel
This has such a light touch for evoking a mysterious atmosphere!
loved it!
The description is fantastic Apprentice, would love to know more. Well done.
I really like the uniqueness of this piece!
I immediately want to know more about this culture: why is the rowan tree so precious to them?
Captivating.
I particularly liked how your sympathetic magic-logic is consistent.
I liked your descriptions of everything. Your last line was great. Great writing.
''Then her blood will flow and she will dance over to the other world.''
Thanks all. I'm grateful for you taking the time to read my entry.
I based it on the fact that the rowan was precious to the ancient people in Europe and Britain in particular. It has rich folk lore. (http://www.treesforlife.org.uk/forest/mythfolk/rowan.html.)
And I've read a bit about "bog people" - ancient preserved bodies found in peat bogs in Europe. One in particular is of a young man thought to have been sacrificed near some sacred site, perhaps a water source.
So I drew on those influences.
And there's something quite warped about the idea of tending to something that will lead to your own demise. Although the flow of blood could be the arrival of womanhood too - I'm torn on that point. But it can mean whatever you want it to mean.
Interesting story. I did like the ambiguity of the blood.
The way you wrote this is both lovely and haunting. I want to know what happens next, and what the blood means; I'm hooked!
I liked it, and I agree with those who say your voice lends itself well to fantasy. It has that feel. :)
I like the primal feel to the piece.
Very intriguing idea. Has a Celtic or Druidic feel. Her acceptance is easy because it's so far off.
Post a Comment