Saturday, July 28, 2007

Entry #25

The Call
by Terry W. Lessig


“Called to a higher purpose.” That’s what the voice in my head says. I’ve heard that voice speak to me all of my short life. It directs me where to go, what to eat, and how to behave. It even put me in the position I’m in now, and through the pain, I still trust it.

I’d seen this happen to others, and always wondered what it would feel like when my time came. I didn’t think it would be so soon, but no matter—it’s far better than the starvation some face each winter. At least I’m being used and not wasted.

The pain is subsiding now. I’m getting cold and I am weakening, but I press on. Just ahead, the dense forest canopy seems to open, and a small patch of the woodland brightens. “Come toward the light,” the familiar voice calls. It sounds warm and friendly. Night falls, and I want to go.

9 comments:

SzélsőFa said...

creepy!

takoda said...

First person, present tense. Hard to pull off, but done very well. A compelling mood established. I agree with Szelsofa--creepy!!!

onipar said...

Nicely done. The beginning of a journey for your character, perhaps.

Victor J. Banis said...

Hmm - well, yes, creepy, in the best sense - sort of Shirley Jackson. Nicely nuanced

Jeff said...

I agree with Takoda. Good job with first person, present tense.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Oh I like this! Very nicely handled. Well done!

JLB said...

Nice beginnings - I'd love to hear more depth and history behind the story.

Bernita said...

A street person, perhaps?
Needs expansion.

jason evans said...

The writing has nice flow to it. It communicates the character well. I'm thinking a deer being hunted.

High marks!