Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Entry #74

Out of the Darkness
by Paul Liadis


Alistar wept, his tears tracing the curve of his sunken cheek. The sky had been a murky gray for ages, the sun and moon and stars, his onetime companions, having long ago taken their leave. His tears were tears of joy, for the light had returned to him, filling Alistar with hope for the first time in his life.

He had been bound to the tree facing this spot for months, possibly years, possibly his entire life. Alistar could not recall. The forest was all he knew, all he could remember. It was his world.

There were times Alistar felt himself on the verge of starvation, ready to give in to the hunger that gripped his being. Each time a mysterious man would appear out of the shadows, giving him something to eat and something to drink. Alistar had begged for mercy, hoping the man would release him from his entanglement or let him die, but the stranger would simply smile, wipe away Alistar's tears, and slink back into the shadows. Despite this, Alistar felt no ill will towards the man.

And so it was, on the day that the day the sun peaked once more through the treetops, that the stranger unbound Alistar’s hands, wrapped a towel around his thin frame, and led him to the cottage beside the rippling stream. “You have endured,” spoke the stranger. “Now rest.”

It was on this day that Alistar began his journey to the throne, as the Great Book had said.

13 comments:

Hoodie said...

Love it.

Katherine Napier said...

Wow, Paul, this is humbling. I'm drawn in already, a character I would follow because of the excellent writing.

angel said...

very cool... i am torn between how much i like it and wanting to know more!

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Ooh, intriguing, sent a shiver down my spine. Beautiful writing - really nicely done!

Paul Liadis said...

Wow. Thanks everyone for the kind comments. It's always hard writing these things, putting a piece of myself out there and wondering how people react. I truly appreciate it.

Also, I want to know more too. Maybe I'll have to continue the story?

JLB said...

I know this wasn't your intention, but as I read this I felt that Alistar was an animal of some sort. :)

Well done,
JLB

Jaye Wells said...

I like this.

"Despite this, Alistar felt no ill will towards the man."

This line tripped me up. It just seemed so illogical, almost an attempt at character development that fell flat. I think the story works just as well without it. Just a suggestion.

Ann Ostrander said...

Really, really loved this original approach and story. I'm with Jaye, ditch that line and heck yeah, make this one longer.

Victor J. Banis said...

Yes, you really need to pursue this further. Very nice

SzélsőFa said...

I'd also love to read further on and into the 'great book', too ;-)
As others have said before, THAT line startled me, too.
At the end, however, I understood A.'s feelings.

Paul Liadis said...

Thanks everyone. I can see how "the line" would startle. I guess what I was trying to get at was that even though this character has been through so much, he still was able to forgive. Unlikely, but true for this character. It was intended.

Bernita said...

Very romantic.

jason evans said...

Very interesting twist. Has a legend-type feel to it.