Tuesday, October 30, 2007

The Stairs, Part 6 (suspense/horror)

(A story in honor of Halloween. As the days of October shorten, a young man descends with the sunset shadows down seven cellar stairs. If you're just joining us, you can go back to Part 1.)



On the Sixth Stair


Paulie stood near the bottom.

One day away.

His hands splayed on the walls to steady his legs. Crumbly cinderblocks. And mold.

He waited, untouched for days. He felt gigantic. It was impossible to breathe.

Lightning boomed close. The sound snapped his body from his toes.

As his mind dangled, rain floated over a drenched world.

the smooth darkness

the prickly smooth darkness

tensing

push it down

grapple it

jaw teeth clenching

quiet again and smooth

soft pressure

spiraling

NO

thrown off

scratch is bleeding

chain jangling

jangling

metal cracks

across

head thrown back

SHIT

you'll pay

you'll pay

punch

pounding

hard enough to break

grunts of air

birds beating against

a hurricane eye wall

then laughing

laughing

laughing


Paulie climbed up to the ground. He closed the storm doors and laid his cheek on the wet, rusty metal.

He wanted every sensation needled into him and burned. Even the cold rain.

Burned right through his skin.

Muscle and spinal chord deep.


On to Part 7.
Back to Part 5.

8 comments:

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Brings to mind some of the darker paintings of Mexican muralist Orosco.
Where there are things around life that we barely perceive, but can't see.

SzélsőFa said...

how creepy can it get...*shivers*

J. C. Wells said...

Please tell me you're going to twist this at the last second and it's going to be funny. I'm not sure my heart can take it otherwise.

Church Lady said...

There better not be a trapdoor with even more steps down.
"-)

Ello said...

Oh no he didn't! Oh yes he did! I am horrified and spellbound and must keep reading.

Vesper said...

"birds beating against
a hurricane eye wall
then laughing"

Excellent, Jason! Luckily I can go straight to part 7! :-)

jason evans said...

Ivan, thanks for the visit and the insights! I have a feeling you've stopped over from Bernita's blog. :)

Szelsofa, well, pretty creepy.

Jaye, I do like twists. =) Not sure if funny is going to be end result, though.

Church Lady, ooh, now that's a great idea! I'll tuck that away for next time.

Ello, I wanted this one more fragmented. I thought it would better get across how perception is splintered during an intense moment.

Vesper, you picked out my favorite line! See you over at #7.

angel said...

incredible... gripping dude! its like i'm right there with him!