Thursday, February 21, 2008

Entry #14

The Silent Treatment
by Missy Vinson


We don’t talk any more.

Scratch that.

I talk all the time, but she never does. I wish she would talk to me. It’s been too many years since I heard her voice, so sweet and always so thoughtful. I tell her what I’m thinking ‘til I’ve come back around to the same ole stuff, and I don’t even get a softly sighed, “Uh-huh.” It’s been 8 years since we planted roots here, and I think she still resents me for that.

The kids are doing fine, though. They don’t visit as often as they used to, but at least one’ll come by on our birthday. Yup, it’s the same day! I knew she was the one for me when I realized I would have one less date to remember. Anniversary’s on Valentines Day. Pretty smart, eh? All the kids come by with their families at Easter. That’s the day for me! It’s coming soon. This is a grand spot for the hunt. The little ‘uns always tiptoe around Nana and me like we’re gonna break or somethin’. Ha!

It’d be nice to have some work for my hands, but I guess I’ve seen the end of that.

A root from elm the kids planted has begun to work its way into my box. My early annoyance for the critters has grown to interest these past few years. This is new. I’m excited to see what this little root does.

“Charlotte, looky there…”

Sometimes, I think she’s somewhere else.

26 comments:

Remiman said...

Very clever!
I enjoyed viewing death from the perspective of life.
rel

ChristineEldin said...

Interesting! I read this a few times, and get something new each time!

Beth said...

I read this twice before I realized you were planted under the tree ... and the silence of your wife ... gosh, your complacency with it all. I just adored this one. Once I got it, I felt hit over the head by it. Well done!

DBA Lehane said...

Yes this asks to be read a couple of times, but it is a wonderful piece of writing and twist on the photo. Another strong contender.

The Grocer said...

Loved the angle on this one, quirky and well written.

paisley said...

oh that was clever.. i do so enjoy a twist!!

JLB said...

The narrator for this piece has a strong voice, and I enjoyed the transposition below ground at the end! Nicely done.

Missy said...

cool.

I came over to link this up to my blog, and was surprised by all these pleasant comments. And, if you're a writer, you must know how that feels! Thanks.

karen said...

Whoa. That was a twist! Good job!

Precie said...

Very nice!

pattinase (abbott) said...

Nice change in perspective here.

24crayons said...

I am in awe of this one. I really liked it!

BernardL said...

Imaginative look, almost like 'Our Town' in the stark aspect of viewing life.

Sarah Hina said...

Wow, what a twist in this one. I loved the conversational, matter-of-fact voice for such an unusual point of view. Wonderful details, too.

The ending was just great. Excellent!

SzélsőFa said...

I had to read it more than once, but I like the style and the unexpected backstory.

pjd said...

The contentment in his voice is a startling contrast to the situation revealed at the end. Nicely executed twist ending. And I love his conclusion that she resents being placed there. It's touching, really.

Bernita said...

Oh, clever!
Like the rueful yet boyant tone.

bluesugarpoet said...

Fantastic variation on the theme! At first I thought he was just a lonely old grandpa...and now I know why... I enjoyed reading this piece. Nicely done.

Hoodie said...

The last line clinched a well-packaged piece. I like the feel of it. Clever!

Aerin said...

I had to read it a couple of times to get the twist everyone was talking about, but that was partly because I was so focused on thoughts of my own Nana that this invoked. Very very clever!1

Absolute Vanilla (& Atyllah) said...

I love the original take on this, talking from beyond life yet still so very much alive. Lovely gentle humour.

Dottie said...

Several of the entries hint at a body in the roots of the tree, but your character actually personifies the metaphor. Great story!

Linda Courtland said...

Great twist, and what a compelling voice!

puresunshine said...

this was really good. :) one of my favs.

jason evans said...

The POV of the grave! I've been fascinated by the same thing. I have a tendency to personify the dead, if that makes any sense. High marks!

Aine said...

Surprising twist! My favorite line is “Charlotte, looky there…” The down-to-earth (ha!) character and humor in his experience of existence is refreshing. It is comforting to think of deceased loved ones in this manner.