The Silent Treatment
by Missy Vinson
We don’t talk any more.
Scratch that.
I talk all the time, but she never does. I wish she would talk to me. It’s been too many years since I heard her voice, so sweet and always so thoughtful. I tell her what I’m thinking ‘til I’ve come back around to the same ole stuff, and I don’t even get a softly sighed, “Uh-huh.” It’s been 8 years since we planted roots here, and I think she still resents me for that.
The kids are doing fine, though. They don’t visit as often as they used to, but at least one’ll come by on our birthday. Yup, it’s the same day! I knew she was the one for me when I realized I would have one less date to remember. Anniversary’s on Valentines Day. Pretty smart, eh? All the kids come by with their families at Easter. That’s the day for me! It’s coming soon. This is a grand spot for the hunt. The little ‘uns always tiptoe around Nana and me like we’re gonna break or somethin’. Ha!
It’d be nice to have some work for my hands, but I guess I’ve seen the end of that.
A root from elm the kids planted has begun to work its way into my box. My early annoyance for the critters has grown to interest these past few years. This is new. I’m excited to see what this little root does.
“Charlotte, looky there…”
Sometimes, I think she’s somewhere else.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
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26 comments:
Very clever!
I enjoyed viewing death from the perspective of life.
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Interesting! I read this a few times, and get something new each time!
I read this twice before I realized you were planted under the tree ... and the silence of your wife ... gosh, your complacency with it all. I just adored this one. Once I got it, I felt hit over the head by it. Well done!
Yes this asks to be read a couple of times, but it is a wonderful piece of writing and twist on the photo. Another strong contender.
Loved the angle on this one, quirky and well written.
oh that was clever.. i do so enjoy a twist!!
The narrator for this piece has a strong voice, and I enjoyed the transposition below ground at the end! Nicely done.
cool.
I came over to link this up to my blog, and was surprised by all these pleasant comments. And, if you're a writer, you must know how that feels! Thanks.
Whoa. That was a twist! Good job!
Very nice!
Nice change in perspective here.
I am in awe of this one. I really liked it!
Imaginative look, almost like 'Our Town' in the stark aspect of viewing life.
Wow, what a twist in this one. I loved the conversational, matter-of-fact voice for such an unusual point of view. Wonderful details, too.
The ending was just great. Excellent!
I had to read it more than once, but I like the style and the unexpected backstory.
The contentment in his voice is a startling contrast to the situation revealed at the end. Nicely executed twist ending. And I love his conclusion that she resents being placed there. It's touching, really.
Oh, clever!
Like the rueful yet boyant tone.
Fantastic variation on the theme! At first I thought he was just a lonely old grandpa...and now I know why... I enjoyed reading this piece. Nicely done.
The last line clinched a well-packaged piece. I like the feel of it. Clever!
I had to read it a couple of times to get the twist everyone was talking about, but that was partly because I was so focused on thoughts of my own Nana that this invoked. Very very clever!1
I love the original take on this, talking from beyond life yet still so very much alive. Lovely gentle humour.
Several of the entries hint at a body in the roots of the tree, but your character actually personifies the metaphor. Great story!
Great twist, and what a compelling voice!
this was really good. :) one of my favs.
The POV of the grave! I've been fascinated by the same thing. I have a tendency to personify the dead, if that makes any sense. High marks!
Surprising twist! My favorite line is “Charlotte, looky there…” The down-to-earth (ha!) character and humor in his experience of existence is refreshing. It is comforting to think of deceased loved ones in this manner.
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