Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Entry #4

Conspirators
by Rel


Staring out the kitchen window, washing her cup, Lindsay saw him standing, staring at Cicely. Cicely was the name she’d given to the tree after they’d become friends.

The first time she’d seen him had been in July. She’d watched from the window while he stood there for more than an hour just staring at Cicely in her summer gown of green. Just as she was about to go out, he’d abruptly turned, and without looking her way, walked lackadaisically toward the village.

The second time was in October, the 22nd. Two hours he stood unmoving, staring at Cicely while she danced in her red lingerie. As she watched, Lindsay felt like an intruder watching lovers dance and was surprised at her feelings of jealousy welling up inside her. She wondered if she had actually heard Cicely whispering to him.

She stepped off the stoop, started toward the stranger, who turned; moseying off toward the village.

After he was out-a-sight, Lindsay asked Cicely, “who is this stranger who stands between us?” Cicely whispered, “You’ll like him”.

Now, in February, he was back staring at Cicely’s nakedness.

She slipped her boots on, wrapped a wool scarf around her neck and stormed out to confront the interloper. When she reached him, he turned, took the scarf ends and strangled the life from her before she could utter a sound.

Laying Lindsay gently at her feet, he heard Cicely whisper as he walked away, “Now my love we will be together for eternity”.

30 comments:

Sarah Hina said...

Wow, Rel. This is great. I love the temptress characterization of the tree, and the quirky love triangle here. Beautiful embellishments with Cecily's seasonal fauna.

Really enjoyed this one! But I think I'll keep my distance from that tree...

Remiman said...

Sarah,
Thanks! your comment means alot.
Cecily can be coquettish at times and has captued more than one heart. ;)
rel

Mystico said...

This tree is kind of spooky... the way it is expressed so realistic in this story. I particularly liked the twist at the end.

paisley said...

holy shit rel... that was deep... and dark... and evil... oh yeah... i loved it....

JLB said...

Nice twist - I love the tree's animation!

sandra seamans said...

Love when an ending completely turns a story on its head. I so thought she'd fall in love with the man. Great story!

jenn said...

Wow. I seriously didn't see that twist coming. It's left me incredibly unsettled. Nice job, Rel.

Jaye Wells said...

Nice twist! I've never seen a tree antagonist before. Great job.

Bernita said...

This makes for a most unusual love triangle!

DBA Lehane said...

This I think will be one of the most original takes on the photo. A very strong entry although I think the change of narrator's viewpoint at the end slightly weakens things?

Beth said...

That totally freaked me out (in a good way). I love when I don't expect an ending. So many surprise endings feel like anything but ... not this.

Missy said...

Ah! I have never heard a tree described so perfectly in such a sexual way. That was shocking and lovely. Do you think he might be next?

katcampbell said...

Rel! Magnificent! I never saw it coming.

Chipper said...

Well i didn't see that coming but what a great way to send a chill up my spine. That was great!!

pjd said...

What paisley and jenn said! This creeps me out, but in a very cool way.

pattinase (abbott) said...

Interesting how we look out the window at that tree and imagine all of this.

BernardL said...

A brutal, evocative spin of nightmare.

Absolute Vanilla (& Atyllah) said...

Wow, talk about pulling the rug out from under the reader's feet! What an unexpected and dramatic twist. Brilliantly done!

ChristineEldin said...

The imagery here is beautiful! I love how you turn the tree into a seductress. I'm with everyone else in loving the twist at the end! And a very nice tie-in to the title of the contest as well. Brilliant!!

SzélsőFa said...

I was somehow expecting this, except when I found out that Cicely was just as much talkative and friendly to Lindsay as to the strange man.
It seems that Cicely quite nastily betrayed L.
What a b.tch. :-P

Nice twist and very descriptive visuals of the changing of the seasons!

bluesugarpoet said...

I, too, love how you've personified the tree as a vixen! Fantastic twist at the end. And I also have to echo that you've tied in the theme of the contest brilliantly too. Well done!

Marcia (MeeAugraphie) said...

Rel. I read it that Cicely used the man to destroy Lindsay. There is more to this story than meets the eye and the reference to February is significant - Though I may have over thought it.

Interesting read either way!

Hoodie said...

Holy Canoli, a love triangle with a tree! You pulled it off. This was awesome. I love the character of the tree. Intriguing.

j.c. montgomery said...

I don't think I can look at trees the same way again - ever.

You know what, that chain saw in the shed needs a good oiling. And I'll do it out front, in full view of Sprucey, just in case SHE's getting any ideas...just sayin'.

JaneyV said...

What's it called? Arborophilia? The images of Cecily as a temptress are terrifically drawn but I was NOT expecting that ending.
What a SHOCKER!
Brilliant!

raine said...

Oh geez, I just knew the couple would wind up together!
Thank you for proving me wrong--loved the twist, lol.

Aerin said...

This is the one piece I can't read a second time. It totally creeped me out. And that's hard to do - damn fine writing!

wrath999 said...

excellent stuff got me completely off guard.

jason evans said...

Interesting twist. It had a legend or fairytale feel to me. A timeless quality.

Aine said...

I do believe that is the first "killer tree" story that I ever read. This will haunt me-- I will be listening more carefully when I pass by trees from now on, especially the lone ones. Great twist!