Monday, February 25, 2008

Entry #40

Ugly Roots
by Patricia J. Hale


The tree was perfect for what I had in mind.

I was patient at first. When Corinne stayed out too late with her girlfriends and left me caring for the baby, I figured: well, this one time. But no, soon she does it every week and she starts leaving the house a mess. Sleeping late and not getting my breakfast.

Also, the sex. I remember when we used to have it. Like animals we were, with her into it as much as me. Sure, I was too rough on her when she was pregnant, but I apologized and she really wanted it. Now she avoids me when I’m in the mood. She’s never in the mood.

Then she gets all chummy with this coworker of hers at the plant. Robert. I met him. Damned if he isn’t gay. What does she see in him? I just don’t get it.

She even said to me, “You need to be more sensitive, Mitchell.” Mitchell, not Mitch. Like I’m hanging on her apron strings, not her husband and provider. Ok, the shop fired me because I came in drunk too many times. It’s her own damn fault, she’s makes me drink.

I see the tree. Nothing else around. I get some rope, fake her handwriting, make a noose. Get Robert to meet her there later. Act all romantic and ask her to go for walk.

Miss Worthless refuses to go.

No matter.

Don’t worry, I’ll find another way.


[Patricia J. Hale has had stories published in Powder Burn Flash, Flashshot, Flash Pan Alley, MicroHorror, Fictional Musings and Apollo's Lyre. She writes because she can't stop herself. For her latest work, see patriciahale.blogspot.com or reach her at patriciajhale@aol.com.]

18 comments:

Beth said...

Funny in a dark way. Ah men, what will we do with them?

bluesugarpoet said...

From the twisted mind of an alcoholic - nicely crafted! I love how he suspects the co-worker for her lover...even if the co-worker seems to be gay.

DBA Lehane said...

This was quite wonderful. The writing is so sharp and crisp.

Absolute Vanilla (& Atyllah) said...

A disturbing and gripping story which leaves you wondering how he'll finally do it. Strong and spare writing. Really well done.

sandra seamans said...

Somehow I do believe it's him that will wind up swing from the tree. Her fault, of course! Nicely done.

Rob said...

You really get a feel for this character in a very short amount of time. Love the title, too.

r2 said...

Nice work, Patricia. All the elements of a great short story in 250 words. Nicely done.

Sarah Hina said...

What strong, stripped writing. Mitch has a snarling, compelling voice, and I was eager to see where it would go.

Great ending. I'm afraid he probably will. So well done!

Jaye Wells said...

So put upon, this guy. Great job.

ChristineEldin said...

I really despised him! I hope it's what Sandra says....
It is kind of dark and funny at the same time.

SzélsőFa said...

What a nicely flowing appropriately dark piece :), I liked it.

JLB said...

Phew - what a voice! Very compelling work.

Patricia J. Hale said...

Thank you everyone, for your comments. Greatly appreciated.

Aerin said...

I am awed by the way you captured the vernacular so well. It's seamless. Although, I agree with whoever said I bet he'll be the one to end up hanging!

raine said...

Such forboding in such a few words!
Wonderful.

jason evans said...

His emotional detachment--a quiet, simple anger--makes it more chilling. This murder will be cold blooded. Not an act of passion. High marks!

Aine said...

Always passing the blame, isn't he?! What a chilling look into a dysfunctional mind. There are always two sides to the story-- you've presented one very skillfully here.

Patricia J. Hale said...

Thank you for your acolades - I'm honored by your praise.

A profound pleasure to hear many of you found it "chilling" and wonder what is next.

All the best.