Ugly Roots
by Patricia J. Hale
The tree was perfect for what I had in mind.
I was patient at first. When Corinne stayed out too late with her girlfriends and left me caring for the baby, I figured: well, this one time. But no, soon she does it every week and she starts leaving the house a mess. Sleeping late and not getting my breakfast.
Also, the sex. I remember when we used to have it. Like animals we were, with her into it as much as me. Sure, I was too rough on her when she was pregnant, but I apologized and she really wanted it. Now she avoids me when I’m in the mood. She’s never in the mood.
Then she gets all chummy with this coworker of hers at the plant. Robert. I met him. Damned if he isn’t gay. What does she see in him? I just don’t get it.
She even said to me, “You need to be more sensitive, Mitchell.” Mitchell, not Mitch. Like I’m hanging on her apron strings, not her husband and provider. Ok, the shop fired me because I came in drunk too many times. It’s her own damn fault, she’s makes me drink.
I see the tree. Nothing else around. I get some rope, fake her handwriting, make a noose. Get Robert to meet her there later. Act all romantic and ask her to go for walk.
Miss Worthless refuses to go.
No matter.
Don’t worry, I’ll find another way.
[Patricia J. Hale has had stories published in Powder Burn Flash, Flashshot, Flash Pan Alley, MicroHorror, Fictional Musings and Apollo's Lyre. She writes because she can't stop herself. For her latest work, see patriciahale.blogspot.com or reach her at patriciajhale@aol.com.]
Monday, February 25, 2008
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18 comments:
Funny in a dark way. Ah men, what will we do with them?
From the twisted mind of an alcoholic - nicely crafted! I love how he suspects the co-worker for her lover...even if the co-worker seems to be gay.
This was quite wonderful. The writing is so sharp and crisp.
A disturbing and gripping story which leaves you wondering how he'll finally do it. Strong and spare writing. Really well done.
Somehow I do believe it's him that will wind up swing from the tree. Her fault, of course! Nicely done.
You really get a feel for this character in a very short amount of time. Love the title, too.
Nice work, Patricia. All the elements of a great short story in 250 words. Nicely done.
What strong, stripped writing. Mitch has a snarling, compelling voice, and I was eager to see where it would go.
Great ending. I'm afraid he probably will. So well done!
So put upon, this guy. Great job.
I really despised him! I hope it's what Sandra says....
It is kind of dark and funny at the same time.
What a nicely flowing appropriately dark piece :), I liked it.
Phew - what a voice! Very compelling work.
Thank you everyone, for your comments. Greatly appreciated.
I am awed by the way you captured the vernacular so well. It's seamless. Although, I agree with whoever said I bet he'll be the one to end up hanging!
Such forboding in such a few words!
Wonderful.
His emotional detachment--a quiet, simple anger--makes it more chilling. This murder will be cold blooded. Not an act of passion. High marks!
Always passing the blame, isn't he?! What a chilling look into a dysfunctional mind. There are always two sides to the story-- you've presented one very skillfully here.
Thank you for your acolades - I'm honored by your praise.
A profound pleasure to hear many of you found it "chilling" and wonder what is next.
All the best.
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