Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Entry #72

Of What Gloom Befalls an Impatient Man Reborn
by Victor Monchego, Jr.


1981: As a man my impatience was rewarded. People paid me handsomely. Equal, too, were my skills to intimidate and manipulate. I was, perhaps, the Most Impatient Man of My Time. I lived a slashing, hewing, cleaving world. Great were my feats, eternal fame their meed.

1989: I had clients, not friends. A had a series of erotic relationships with investors. I bore through my enemies with caustic words. I tossed aside many wives. My children pressed upon with the weight of my surname.

1995: Now, each winter I stand before the world denuded, chilled to the core, my sap running thin. I am mad and bound in bark.

1998: Patient, a tree must be patient. One cannot wonder. One must stand. One must wait. Oh, horror. Let me out.

2005: How many summers mark this incarnation? I have lost the ability to count and hence the skill to meter time at consequence.

2013: I have grown accustomed to my bark. I have taken the full moon as my lover. She is gravid and full-bellied. A meadowlark is my counsel.

2017: They say goodly shade she finds who shelters beneath a goodly tree.

2019: I thought my penitence paid, reborn as a tree. But hark the sound, a familiar roar, a buzz saw on the land, the price of impatience. I fear the cutting, the terror of petrol in the wind. The chainsaw rips, tomorrow I am cord.

16 comments:

paisley said...

wow... now that is what i call creative writing... very well done....

Victor Bravo Monchego, Jr said...

thanks, but in all fairness i borrowed a few words from cervantes. so DQ me.

JaneyV said...

I really like this piece. I have imagined the impatient man buried under the young tree and becoming part of it - his soul bound with it in some sort of Karmic lesson about learning to stop, look. appreciate everything around - take the full moon as his lover? The final irony is when he learns to be patient and at ease with himself, he is cut down by the impatience of man.

It's lovely, really beautiful.

Absolute Vanilla (& Atyllah) said...

What an original and ironic piece of writing! This is really effective and creative. Very well done!

Beth said...

Really neat, Victor.

Sarah Hina said...

Fascinating timeline, Victor. The writing here is so vivid, and evocative. I loved the growth, and the acceptance here. Until Man's impatience made him small again.

Great, imaginative piece!

Hoodie said...

The most fascinating of the bunch for me. You win the best vocab award. Superb.

Aerin said...

This has a European feel for me - like their chocolate, not bitter, but neither overly sweet. Superb language.

wrath999 said...

Very original. excellent

Dottie said...

"I am mad and bound in bark." I see the Cervantes inspiration, but this is a brilliant and totally original manipulation. Excellent wording.

"The chainsaw rips, tomorrow I am cord." The play with which you use language gives a unique candence to all of your submissions. I loved this.

Bernita said...

Fascinating is indeed the appropriate word.

SzélsőFa said...

Just when he accepted the act of waiting and learnt it, too - through ages of being a tree...the reader feels the shock.
I like how the transition takes place from being intolerant and inpatient to the opposite (while the soul is trapped within the tree).
Great job.

bluesugarpoet said...

For the life he lived the first time around, he was lucky to be a tree.:) Very creative spin on the "treeincarnation" idea!

Anonymous said...

I think this entry was overlooked by the judges. I connected with this story. The writer really developed the sense of place, although I was confused somewhat by when it all takes place.

jason evans said...

Yes, I could see patience as a curse for this man. An interesting take on the "afterlife." High marks!

Aine said...

Very creative! The irony is satisfying.

Your choice of phrasing and style are unique. I enjoyed reading it for that reason as well as the plot. Nice writing!