Thursday, February 21, 2008

Entry #9

Treasure
by Vesper


“There is great treasure to be found under that tree,” Pia’s grandmother used to say and wink at her mysteriously, her plump face wrinkled with the pleasure of laughter, and Pia would look hard on the kitchen window, trying to catch a sparkle of that hidden treasure. The tree only swayed its elegant branches, as if waving at her, somewhat teasingly.

Wasn’t it too far from the sea? Could the pirates have come and buried their gold there? Or was it the fairy people? Grandma would only shake her head, gently, much like the tree, and smile her smile of meringues, and strawberry pies, and marmalade.

The apple tree had always been there, on the hill, alone but seemingly content. Pia would sing to it sometimes, as she lay supine underneath it, holding onto the tall grasses to keep from falling into the azure well of the sky. In spring, it scattered a suave rain of flowers, generously, on whoever happened to sit underneath it, and it made wonderful apples in late summer, globes of magical gold spread on the ground.

Later, Pia shared her first kiss there, sweet like the apples, as the leaves sheltered her and her sweetheart from the inquiring moon.

Grandma got married underneath that tree, and then her mother too, and now it was Pia’s turn. As she climbed the hill, her dress the colour of apple flowers, to where Tom was waiting for her, she smiled as she suddenly knew what the treasure was.

26 comments:

JLB said...

I like the way treasure is related to both form and thought; and I really like "smile her smile of meringues, and strawberry pies, and marmalade."

sandra seamans said...

Lovely story!

Josh said...

Very charming and heartwarming. I like how the memories are made precious by the tree.

strugglingwriter said...

Nice work Vesper. I love the first line. I'm always a sucker for "magic".

Even though I was looking forward to a tale of pirates or fairies, this was very nice.

Good use of imagery (as always for you) such as "suave rain of flowers".

Paul

paisley said...

on a mound of memories she stands... very well told....

Vesper said...

when i saw this post i was totally freaked out..."I DIDN'T WRITE THAT!"....then i remembered that there's another "vesper" out there. funny how blog identities totally *become* you. i've been "vesper" on the internet for four years now....it's like another aspect of my identity...


strange. yet nice.

Bernita said...

This is a lovely piece.
" to keep from falling into the well of the sky" - yes.

DBA Lehane said...

Wonderfully littered with the falling leaves of imagery this entry. One to be "treasured"!

Beth said...

Wow, the two vesper thing had me for a moment. I thought this story was very sweet, heart-warming.

ChristineEldin said...

Lyrical and hopeful. I truly enjoyed this one! The line Bernita pointed out was also my favorite.

btw, TWO Vespers? I'm having a brain implosion!
:-)

Vesper said...

I would like to thank all of you for reading my little piece and for the very kind comments. :-)

Vesper, no name is unique but what's inside each of us truly is (and even the outside, of course)...

Vesper at Chick With a Quill

The Grocer said...

I thought you captured childhood imagination perfectly in that first paragraph " look hard... trying to catch a sparkle".
enjoyed this.

Ello said...

Hey Vesper,
I always love your openings and endings, they always bring you in and leave you with contentment. Very nicely done.

Missy said...

You captured a lifetime in this little tale - a childhood mystery revealed. Beautiful!

Sarah Hina said...

Oh, Vesper, I just loved this. How wonderful to trace an entire family's history and happiness through a single tree.

Gorgeous images sprinkled throughout: her grandma's smile, relating her first kiss and her wedding dress to the apples, that "inquiring moon." Lovely.

One of my favorites so far! :)

Absolute Vanilla (& Atyllah) said...

This is utterly lovely, Vesper. I love the imagery, there are some delicious lines in here. Beautiful work!

SzélsőFa said...

It was a very pleasant and calming experience. Thank you for all those lines and images that caress the senses and for those positive energies conveyed!

BernardL said...

A treasure indeed.

pjd said...

sweet as marmalade! Charming story.

pattinase (abbott) said...

This is just charming.

bluesugarpoet said...

The imagery in this story is beautiful executed! I love how you've weaved various images from paragraph to paragraph too. Lovely story! Excellently written.

Hoodie said...

Beautiful, Vesper! The part about holding on to the grass so as to not fall into the sky - The most brilliant single line of the whole contest imo. Bravo.

Thérèse said...

What a charming and happy story. I love the food imagery. And I really like "her dress the colour of apple flowers".

Charming.

JaneyV said...

" holding onto the tall grasses to keep from falling into the azure well of the sky"

When I was about 8 or 9 I spent the entire month of May going to a meadow near where we lived, lying in the grass and looking up at the clouds. And I swear that I could feel the earth spinning on its axis as it hurtled through space. I used to hold onto the grass in case I was pulled into the sky. The feeling of vertigo was intoxicating which is probably why I went back day after day. The path to the meadow was through an apple orchard.

I'd forgotten all about it till I read that line. Thank you for bringing me back to a really happy moment in my childhood with your wonderful story. it's a memory I will treasure.

jason evans said...

Great ending! Very poetic and lovely descriptions. High marks!

Aine said...

Ahh-- so sweet! I love the romance of tradition. Great use of color throughout. And I love the opening. "Her plump face wrinkled with the pleasure of laughter" captures the grandmother's character so perfectly. Upon rereading, I think that your use of color is very effective in setting the tone. The reader can't help but feel happy.