Monday, March 31, 2008

Under the Willows, Part 3 (narrative poem)

(A young man yearns to have the power to reach beyond mortal ends. A sensual vampire tale in the tradition of THE HIGHWAYMAN by Alfred Noyes. Just joining us? Go back to Part 1)

The blackness rushed him and took his body
Ripping arms open to icy stars
The hillside blurred and the forest claimed him
His heartbeat engulfed the dark

Suspended high in the nameless shadows
Quivering toes reached for precious ground
The muscled lines of his neck extended
His groan was a trembling sound

A writhing brilliance of lust exploded
Arched and erupting he gasped and screamed
Sensations falling and flying tumbled
His soul spurted scarlet streams

The swirling hurricane winds departed
Shaking he plunged back to lonesome land
He crawled with weary and cold exhaustion
Impossible to withstand

**To be continued**

On to Part 4.
Back to Part 2.


JaneyV said...

Too late to turn back now Collin! I hope the "writhing brilliance of lust" was worth being condemned to an eternity of soulless existence!

This is so exciting - dark, sensual, thrilling. You are a master of creating mood and expectation!

Roll on Part 4!

Miladysa said...

Ditto janeyv!

"His soul spurted scarlet streams"


~beth ♥ said...

And ... I'm already anticipating part 4 ... but, I think you know that.

paisley said...

well i guess that third stanza makes sure we know why theres a "big O" in sOul......

this is expertly put together,,,

jason evans said...

Janey, was it worth it? We shall see. ;) Thank you again for the kind words.

Miladysa, that line didn't want to come to me. I like how it turned out in the end.

Beth, me too. Now that the scene is set, this is the fun part.

Paisley, yes, very true. There's a pretty steep price to be paid for it, though. Thanks for the compliment!

Miladysa said...

I want more *wink*

Vesper said...

"Sensations falling and flying tumbled/His soul spurted scarlet streams"...

We share his sensations through your gifted words, Jason. Looking forward for more...

SzélsőFa said...

Very vivid, almost painful. Do you write it in pieces or do the whole thing at once?
Do you have how long it would be planned all beforehand...or do you just let it flow?

SzélsőFa said...

To Aine:
my how to make Easten eggs post is up! With all secrets revealed :)

jason evans said...

Miladysa, I'll try not to disappoint.

Vesper, it's nice to see you back! Glad you're enjoying this little vision.

Szelsofa, I write all my serials piece by piece. I like the challenge of it, and also the ability to let the reactions of readers shape it as I go along. I do have a general idea at the beginning, but what comes out is often different.

Ello said...

Oh wow! What's going on? I am completely riveted!

Vesper de Vil said...

the photo goes brilliantly with the words...

jason evans said...

Ello, I kind of like using poetry for this story.

Vesper de vil, I'm very happy with how this photo turned out!

Sarah Hina said...

Explosive writing, Jason. The transformation is brutal ;)

The loss of control is the crux here. Excruciating and intoxicating. And I love the close-up of the photo! So ghostly and evocative.