Sunday, July 13, 2008

Entry #23

Born to be Wild
by Charlene Watters


Lemon pledge oh so pretty and it sparkles oh so sweet.

The bike was supposed to make me feel cool, but every time I look at the gauges in the dark of night they remind me of lemon slices and that damn jingle runs through my mind.

And then I have to face it. I’m a middle-aged overweight housewife trying to recapture glory days that never were. I was never cool. I was never wild. Tearing down the highway in the middle of the night will never change that.

Steven was right. This is stupid, dangerous. I should just go home. Back to my husband. Back to my children. Back to my life of cooking, cleaning, and taking care, since lemon pledge follows me wherever I go.

You win, Steven. You win. The bike goes back tomorrow. I’ll go back to my life. Tomorrow.

18 comments:

J.C. Montgomery said...

Oh have I been there, except in a Jeep. Nice story!

Sarah Hina said...

My heart went out to her. I hope she squeezes in a last, thrilling ride.

The lemon pledge was a really effective hallmark of her humdrum life. Awful that she couldn't escape the noose like she hoped to.

Nice work!

Sheri said...

I loved that it was a woman's mid-life crisis purchase and not a mans. My mom bought a motorcycle a few years after my dad. I think she wanted to try to keep up with him.

I liked how where ever she went, there she was - the inescapable reality of it all.

Charles Gramlich said...

The ending "Tomorrow" makes it appear the night is not over. I wonder what will happen.

Wannabe Writer said...

Your story is both sweet, sad and funny at the same time. Good job! -Rita

kflgilbert said...

**The bike was supposed to make me feel cool, but every time I look at the gauges in the dark of night they remind me of lemon slices and that damn jingle runs through my mind. **

Effective line.

She carries too much guilt. I am afraid she won't ever be fully happy either way, with or without the bike.

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

Beautiful piece!

You have wonderfully described her attempt to break free of the shackles of monotony of life.

BernardL said...

I like her priorities, and I used to use Lemon Pledge to wax my bike. :)

Beth said...

This is a stupid, dangerous I like this one so much, I wish you could change just this because I think it was a simple mistake and takes away for this piece.

SzélsőFa said...

A rational, housewife-y woman, a poor thing.
I like that (like Charles said), the end is unclear. But that only makes this piece the better.

Hee-word verification was cdark, as in 'see dark' - creepy!!

Charlene said...

Thanks for the comments everyone. They are very much appreciated. :) Beth, my sister pointed out the typo six seconds after I posted, but I didn't know if I could ask for it to be fixed. It turns out I could. :)

JaneyV said...

She knows who she is this woman and as much as she'd like to escape it - it follows her. But I so like that she still is bargaining for another night of freedom. Tomorrow.

Really nice writing Charlene.

September said...

So many takes on this one prompt. This one with lemon pledge...wow.
Makes me feel for the woman. Hope she can find another way to make lemonade - without the pledge!

Nice story. It brought out emotions in me I had forgotten. Good job.
(and strangely, I think I'll buy lemonpledge today...I miss that stuff and my house is dusty!)

Beth said...

I have an extra period in mine too, but I just left it. So glad yours is fixed though. Isn't that the way to spot it right after its sent? lol

laughingwolf said...

thx for the chuckle, works for me...

Scott said...

I swear I didn't read this before I submitted mine! There is something about middle age that attracts one to the road, and of course our memories favor the past and mercifully forget the bad. Kind of like remembering old girlfriends and boyfriends.

jason evans said...

I don't want her to give up yet! I like the Lemon Pledge as a vehicle to bind the story. Well done. Good marks overall.

Aine said...

Interesting how many people thought of a midlife crisis when given the photo prompt of a motorcycle... :)

I'm glad you wrote about a woman! And, thanks to my mother, lemon pledge is strongly associated with "housewife" for me-- it was very effective in your story!