The Last Mile
by Karlan T
Lenny was using all cylinders as he throttled down the highway. Like most that ran this stretch, he had a long way to go and a short time to get there. The heat of the highway radiated unbearably even at the witching hour.
He scanned the horizon under the moon, searching for the landmark that would tell him he was nearly home. The trio of plateaus was a beacon haloed by the starlit sky but the obnoxious flashing neon lights of a gas station grabbed his attention. Nothing would be better than home, but now the uncomfortable call of nature gnawed at his mind.
The journey is almost over, one last rest stop won't kill me, he decided.
Suddenly, lights flooded the air around Lenny. He panicked, glancing back to see headlights bearing down on him. Some insane instinct, beyond rationalization, compelled him to donut around and run head long into the paired beams of light.
Breaking free of the siren song, Lenny leaned into the last mile before the station. He strained to not look back. Behind, the growing thunder heightened his fear. The fear snapped his head around. A flash of reflective chrome grill was all he saw before everything went black.
The thunderous roar pulled into the gas station, rolling to a stop. Its engine idled with a guttural growl. "Damn Bugs," it muttered as it pulled Lenny from its chrome capped teeth.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
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18 comments:
Karlan, it's so awesome seeing you do one of these contests. Cute take on the picture like a futuristic Bug's Life!
'one last rest stop won't kill me' Ah, the foreshadowing famous last words...
I was going to say what Sheri said... -Rita
oh my gosh...Lenny was the bug. Poor Lenny. Nicely done. I liked this.
It's a Bug's Life. :)
So great! The tragic epic of bug v. grill. :)
I love that the story was genuinely exciting and compelling. And that the last paragraph released the tension in such a novel, funny way. Very enjoyable.
Great writing, too.
It's so cute (I mean aside from poor Lenny the bug dying at the end)! I love the perspective.
Yo! The famous Mr. T is back in print. Love that trick you played at the end. Good to see you around again.
By the way, I caught that Smoky and the Bandit reference...
You squished him! Great fun - I was totally with you for the ride!
What a surprise, Lenny was a bug! Didn't see that comic... ;o)
fargin awesome!
Thanks everyone for your comments. They are inspiring. Can't wait till the next contest.
What I like about this piece is that it's very tight. You use every word well, doubling and tripling meanings to lead the reader astray (call of nature - bwahahahahaha in retrospect I think that is SO funny!!!), and yet when the end happens, there's no question as to what just took place. If the writing had been less sure, more wobbly, the end could have a had a "what the hell was that about" sort of feeling. Well done!
Aerin's right. I loved all the subtle hints with your word-play.
Just once I'd like to see a bug survive the plight of the grill, or windshield, or flyswatter, or... Still, Lenny's demise did not come without merit. Nice read.
ooooooo nice twist, thank you
Woah!Now who would have thought of that? :)
Very creative!Poor li'l buggy though.
Dang. One last rest stop did kill him. I liked the brute at the end.
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