Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Entry #63

Chasing the Moon
by Julie Weathers


The beacon of light before her seemed to point the way to the rising moon. Somewhere deep in her soul she imagined she might even catch that luminous, silver disk if she just kept riding long enough.

Might not catch it, but I'm damned sure going to try.

Marge chuckled softly. What would her kids think if she told them she spent all night long chasing the moon? They would probably want her to repeat it so they could record it and use it as proof she was incompetent.

Frank wouldn't, though. He was the one who helped her pick out the bike and taught her to ride it. He knew her heart while her other children only looked at her wrinkles.

A doe stepped out of the trees ahead of her, twitching those great ears and watching as she approached. Marge raised a finger in greeting. The doe flashed her tail and bounded back into the forest. She was wise to be cautious. Marge gave thanks she wasn't a deer. She had no desire to be careful or prudent or even sensible.

She smiled again as she thought about riding up to the senior center before she embarked on her little road trip. Gretta had fainted. Barbara shivered at the thought of bugs in her teeth.

Even Marge had to admit to herself that wasn't very appealing, It wasn't a concern anymore, though. She lost her teeth about forty miles back when she hit that bump.

23 comments:

BernardL said...

LOL!

laughingwolf said...

caught me laughing, julie ;) lol

Aerin said...

OMG! LOVE it! Fantastic last paragraph!!!

Sarah Hina said...

Best last line ever!

Marge is a great heroine. We could all use her sense of adventure. I love how you contrasted her with that skittish deer. A well told story all around.

Go catch that moon, Marge! :)

wrath999 said...

Great build up and humor.
alex

Beth said...

Best last line in one of these contests I have EVER read! Bahahaha.

Here I thought my voting was done. Darn it!

JR's Thumbprints said...

Hey, at least she won't be getting any bugs in her teeth. I can see her smile on that open road.

September said...

I like Marge! And Frank - "He knew her heart while her other children only looked at her wrinkles" -- I like him.

JaneyV said...

Brilliant - that last line was inspired. Big belly laugh there! I love, love, love the idea that our dreams are ageless. Marge is a wonderful character and I adore Frank.

Superb!

Julie Weathers said...

Running late as usual, but thank you all. Laughingwolf told me about this contest last night and I couldn't resist.

It was fun trying to think of a story to go with that picture.

Now I get to read the rest of the entries, which look like a lot of fun!

Scott said...

Don't let my grandma read this! I don't want her getting any ideas. Awesome story!

joanita said...

haha. Loved that last line. Would've liked to know how young she was right in the beginning. I saw her as being 30 ish. But the revelation at the end had me chuckle.
hoooray for the seniors.
Joanita

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAAHAHA!!! LOVE IT!
I love the reasons why she doesn't want to be a deer, too. Priceless story.

Vesper said...

He knew her heart while her other children only looked at her wrinkles.

Funny and sad at the same time. Nicely done!

Beth said...

I just had to let you know, this secured one of my votes. I really loved it and that ending, wow, priceless.

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

What a sense of heroism she has!

Loved her spirit :)

24crayons said...

Just when I settled in I got surprised! What a fun surprise, I laughed out loud about it, that was super fun.

Posolxstvo I said...

I'm a little slow sometimes. I was trying to figure out what everyone was laughing about, because I was picturing her hitting a bump, wiping out and face planting as a result. That's how I thought she lost her teeth.

It wasn't until later that I realized that they were false teeth.

Nice work, even if I didn't get it at first. :)

Bernita said...

Delightful!
Way to go, Lady!

Julie Weathers said...

All, I really am not being unappreciative. I will comment individually Monday. Just up to my butt in alligators this week.

I do want to say thank you to all, though. It was a fun exercise.

Linda said...

Great last line!!!

SzélsőFa said...

A likeable and awesome character, she is. There should be more of her specimen.

jason evans said...

What an awesome ending! That made the whole thing for me. So much impact with that one detail. Good pacing and entertainment.